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New Here..Thank God you exist...Need help badly
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 135964" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Emma,</p><p>so sorry you have to join us, but here's a cup of tea and a soft pillow.</p><p>I would add Xanax to the Effexor if your dr is okay with-that.</p><p>I would do therapy for yourself, too. </p><p>I would focus on your other kids. Your older son is out of the house a lot so you've got to focus on the other kids.</p><p>I'd lay down the law, since your son "hates" you anyway ... you may as well make him angry because you are deliberately setting YOUR rules rather than just arguing because he feels like it. So when he's calm, tell him he does not drive your car, he does not come home unless he calls first and follows your rules. Change the locks. </p><p>You're up against a lot here because your ex is in on the whole thing. I hate it when that happens! You can read horror stories from lots of other people here about that sort of thing.</p><p>At any rate, what I 'm getting at is natural consequences. You said you bailed him out and pd back $ or items he stole ... NONOnonononnoo! Never again. </p><p>In fairness, explain to him that you will never do it again. </p><p>You will not field angry phone calls for him when angry people call looking for him.</p><p>You will not pay for his cell phone.</p><p>If he's going to think he's an adult, he needs adult consequences.</p><p> </p><p>Having said that, I wonder what happened at rehab that perked him up, and what made him backslide? Did they have a really strict schedule? Did he have therapy every day?</p><p>You've gotten good advice and info here from other parents more into various medications.</p><p> </p><p>Please do not let yourself get run down any more than you have. YOU are valuable.</p><p>{{{hugs}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 135964, member: 3419"] Hi Emma, so sorry you have to join us, but here's a cup of tea and a soft pillow. I would add Xanax to the Effexor if your dr is okay with-that. I would do therapy for yourself, too. I would focus on your other kids. Your older son is out of the house a lot so you've got to focus on the other kids. I'd lay down the law, since your son "hates" you anyway ... you may as well make him angry because you are deliberately setting YOUR rules rather than just arguing because he feels like it. So when he's calm, tell him he does not drive your car, he does not come home unless he calls first and follows your rules. Change the locks. You're up against a lot here because your ex is in on the whole thing. I hate it when that happens! You can read horror stories from lots of other people here about that sort of thing. At any rate, what I 'm getting at is natural consequences. You said you bailed him out and pd back $ or items he stole ... NONOnonononnoo! Never again. In fairness, explain to him that you will never do it again. You will not field angry phone calls for him when angry people call looking for him. You will not pay for his cell phone. If he's going to think he's an adult, he needs adult consequences. Having said that, I wonder what happened at rehab that perked him up, and what made him backslide? Did they have a really strict schedule? Did he have therapy every day? You've gotten good advice and info here from other parents more into various medications. Please do not let yourself get run down any more than you have. YOU are valuable. {{{hugs}} [/QUOTE]
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