Hi everyone!
I am a new member and have already been touched by all the wonderful support that is given on this forum.
I am the mother of a just about 16 year old. diagnosis with ADHD at age 5, behavior patterns of ADHD go back to his toddler years. Difficulty with traditional school environments. Through the elementary years we dealt with simple defiance (never listening), stealing (pencils at school, our neighbors bird that they had outside, small toys, etc.), and lying. Even more than lying it has been embellishing the truth. He was always better at some sport or had some item that others coveted, told his 4th grade class his uncle perished in the 9/11 attacks, that he was "sponsored" in skateboarding, went to certain concerts, etc. You get the picture. Always has had a BIG problem with impulse control.
Medications stopped at age 12 due to absolute refusal to take any medications regardless of the cost to him. 8th grade stole our car to go joyriding, put HCL acid on a girl in science lab, ran away, etc. Was being put in alternative program and decided he was going to live with his dad. Tired of the threats I let him go.
Put in alternative program after 6 weeks in new school. Socialized to drugs, alcohol, violence, etc. at this school. Ran away 4 times in less than 2 years, states he was selling drugs in 9th grade, got caught with alcohol and marijuana multiple times, continuous issues with behavior and grades at school.
Ran away for 2 weeks, begged me to get him and let him live with us. I was weak and gave in. Started 10th grade here. Have called 911 4 times on him for physical intimidation, smoking marijuana with friends in vehicle parked in our front yard, etc. Has had charges stemming from calling the suicide hotline as a joke with his friends, 2 charges for grafiti, right now an investigation is going on that shows he probably damaged a vehicle at school by keying an expletive on the car. Was jumped by 5 men on Sat night and spent the night in the ER with him. Is smoking marijuana frequently, binge drinking, and is SUPER verbally abusive to me.
I have a behavior contract but needs revision. I have decided that I can not control what he does at school. He has all F's, skips all the time, and is disrespectful to the staff. He will now have a behavior contract at school, I told the principle to enfore the most severe consequences he had.
He wants to drop out, I refuse to sign (here you need parent auth to take a GED/drop out before age 18). He must deal with consequences of his legal mistakes and mistakes at school. Absolutely no drivers license while he is acting like this.
At home I am trying to perserve my mental health and keep my family together. So, everything is dependent on his behavior at home. Right now he has his rooms stripped of everything even the curtains. He did get his TV back for behaving the last 2 days. Computer time is earned for good behavior on a day to day basis.
I take him to a drug counseling center for teens 2x week, has drug testing but admits to use so now just random to make sure no other drugs test positive. Has had evaluations by a psychologist that has multiple books on defiant kids. He does not have any other co-morbid psychiatric disorder. Shows he is very immature, impulsive, prone to alcohol abuse, and super defiant. So...everything I already knew!
I am on the verge of petitioning the court for a Child in need of supervision order, but will wait and see what the judge orders for his offenses first. His behavior and issues consume my day. Every time I hear a siren, every time the phone rings my stomach turns. I can't sleep well, I have lost weight, and I am withdrawing from friends and family. I am not sure if I can make it through this.
I have him convinced to at least TRY strattera one more time. If he will take it I hope to begin the process for an IEP. Have no clue what that will entail but I think I need to pursue it.
WOW, this is sooo long. If you actually got all the way through this jumbled mess, Thanks! I am sure we all could write a book on our experiences and I hope to find some hope and encouragement here. I feel hopeless and my heart is so broken that many times I feel I have no where to turn.
I am a new member and have already been touched by all the wonderful support that is given on this forum.
I am the mother of a just about 16 year old. diagnosis with ADHD at age 5, behavior patterns of ADHD go back to his toddler years. Difficulty with traditional school environments. Through the elementary years we dealt with simple defiance (never listening), stealing (pencils at school, our neighbors bird that they had outside, small toys, etc.), and lying. Even more than lying it has been embellishing the truth. He was always better at some sport or had some item that others coveted, told his 4th grade class his uncle perished in the 9/11 attacks, that he was "sponsored" in skateboarding, went to certain concerts, etc. You get the picture. Always has had a BIG problem with impulse control.
Medications stopped at age 12 due to absolute refusal to take any medications regardless of the cost to him. 8th grade stole our car to go joyriding, put HCL acid on a girl in science lab, ran away, etc. Was being put in alternative program and decided he was going to live with his dad. Tired of the threats I let him go.
Put in alternative program after 6 weeks in new school. Socialized to drugs, alcohol, violence, etc. at this school. Ran away 4 times in less than 2 years, states he was selling drugs in 9th grade, got caught with alcohol and marijuana multiple times, continuous issues with behavior and grades at school.
Ran away for 2 weeks, begged me to get him and let him live with us. I was weak and gave in. Started 10th grade here. Have called 911 4 times on him for physical intimidation, smoking marijuana with friends in vehicle parked in our front yard, etc. Has had charges stemming from calling the suicide hotline as a joke with his friends, 2 charges for grafiti, right now an investigation is going on that shows he probably damaged a vehicle at school by keying an expletive on the car. Was jumped by 5 men on Sat night and spent the night in the ER with him. Is smoking marijuana frequently, binge drinking, and is SUPER verbally abusive to me.
I have a behavior contract but needs revision. I have decided that I can not control what he does at school. He has all F's, skips all the time, and is disrespectful to the staff. He will now have a behavior contract at school, I told the principle to enfore the most severe consequences he had.
He wants to drop out, I refuse to sign (here you need parent auth to take a GED/drop out before age 18). He must deal with consequences of his legal mistakes and mistakes at school. Absolutely no drivers license while he is acting like this.
At home I am trying to perserve my mental health and keep my family together. So, everything is dependent on his behavior at home. Right now he has his rooms stripped of everything even the curtains. He did get his TV back for behaving the last 2 days. Computer time is earned for good behavior on a day to day basis.
I take him to a drug counseling center for teens 2x week, has drug testing but admits to use so now just random to make sure no other drugs test positive. Has had evaluations by a psychologist that has multiple books on defiant kids. He does not have any other co-morbid psychiatric disorder. Shows he is very immature, impulsive, prone to alcohol abuse, and super defiant. So...everything I already knew!
I am on the verge of petitioning the court for a Child in need of supervision order, but will wait and see what the judge orders for his offenses first. His behavior and issues consume my day. Every time I hear a siren, every time the phone rings my stomach turns. I can't sleep well, I have lost weight, and I am withdrawing from friends and family. I am not sure if I can make it through this.
I have him convinced to at least TRY strattera one more time. If he will take it I hope to begin the process for an IEP. Have no clue what that will entail but I think I need to pursue it.
WOW, this is sooo long. If you actually got all the way through this jumbled mess, Thanks! I am sure we all could write a book on our experiences and I hope to find some hope and encouragement here. I feel hopeless and my heart is so broken that many times I feel I have no where to turn.