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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 279692" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi and welcome to the board. </p><p>I would like to give you my impressions.</p><p></p><p>First of all, ODD rarely stands alone. Would you be open to a neuropsychologist evaluation? THere is probably some underlying diagnosis driving his behavior. Are there any psychiatric problems OR substance abuse one either side of your son's family tree? Was his early development on target or did he have problems? Did he enjoy being held? DId he talk on time? Does he relate well to his same-age peers? Does he ever act like he doesn't "get it" as in "get life?"</p><p></p><p>I hate to stick up for late wife, but being spoiled doesn't make our kids defiant, as you now see. You are throwing the book at him, but he is still not reacting to the discipline the way you'd like. It is easy to blame ex, but he is probably wired differently than other kids and always was. Plenty of spoiled kids turn out fine. I strongly suggest that you go back and start at Square One with a neuropsychologist evaluation. Just assuming he is defiant and "bad" isn't helping and won't help. It would help to know his age and how he does in school too. THe more details we have, the more we can help. One last thing: THis isn't a fight. It's hopefully an attempt to help the child--by finding out what is wrong and working with professionals. Disciplining him harshly is not going to change him. My hub was in the military and he also sort of expects kids to do what he says without the explanations and thinks a lot of stuff is discipline-oriented only, but he has softened up and lot and learned. THe truth is, likely your boy would be difficult no matter how he was raised by your ex or t he grandparents. Chances are that on one or both sides of his genetic family tree there are other difficult people, even if they failed to get a diagnosis. You need outside help. And it's not "Him against us and we have to win because we are the parents." It's "I want to find out why my son is unhappy (and making US unhappy) and try to help him, and I admit I can't do it myself.). None of us are trying to fix our kids on our own. And we can't tell you how to fix your son because we don't know what's wrong with him.</p><p>See a neuropsychologist and probably a child psychiatrist would be a good idea as well. ODD just isn't a stand alone diagnosis, and we as parents are bad at diagnosing our own kids. Some of us don't like to admit anything is wrong with our kids either--we'd rather they be "bad" than have a disability. Sadly, that is usually not the case. Kids don't wake up each day to make us miserable. If your son is near his teen years, get him that neuropsychologist SOON or you may be facing a drug problem! </p><p>Welcome to the board <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /> There is help out there if you seek it out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 279692, member: 1550"] Hi and welcome to the board. I would like to give you my impressions. First of all, ODD rarely stands alone. Would you be open to a neuropsychologist evaluation? THere is probably some underlying diagnosis driving his behavior. Are there any psychiatric problems OR substance abuse one either side of your son's family tree? Was his early development on target or did he have problems? Did he enjoy being held? DId he talk on time? Does he relate well to his same-age peers? Does he ever act like he doesn't "get it" as in "get life?" I hate to stick up for late wife, but being spoiled doesn't make our kids defiant, as you now see. You are throwing the book at him, but he is still not reacting to the discipline the way you'd like. It is easy to blame ex, but he is probably wired differently than other kids and always was. Plenty of spoiled kids turn out fine. I strongly suggest that you go back and start at Square One with a neuropsychologist evaluation. Just assuming he is defiant and "bad" isn't helping and won't help. It would help to know his age and how he does in school too. THe more details we have, the more we can help. One last thing: THis isn't a fight. It's hopefully an attempt to help the child--by finding out what is wrong and working with professionals. Disciplining him harshly is not going to change him. My hub was in the military and he also sort of expects kids to do what he says without the explanations and thinks a lot of stuff is discipline-oriented only, but he has softened up and lot and learned. THe truth is, likely your boy would be difficult no matter how he was raised by your ex or t he grandparents. Chances are that on one or both sides of his genetic family tree there are other difficult people, even if they failed to get a diagnosis. You need outside help. And it's not "Him against us and we have to win because we are the parents." It's "I want to find out why my son is unhappy (and making US unhappy) and try to help him, and I admit I can't do it myself.). None of us are trying to fix our kids on our own. And we can't tell you how to fix your son because we don't know what's wrong with him. See a neuropsychologist and probably a child psychiatrist would be a good idea as well. ODD just isn't a stand alone diagnosis, and we as parents are bad at diagnosing our own kids. Some of us don't like to admit anything is wrong with our kids either--we'd rather they be "bad" than have a disability. Sadly, that is usually not the case. Kids don't wake up each day to make us miserable. If your son is near his teen years, get him that neuropsychologist SOON or you may be facing a drug problem! Welcome to the board :happy: There is help out there if you seek it out. [/QUOTE]
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