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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 280315" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>My father was retired military. My older brother is a retired Air Force colonel. I have great respect for the military BUT...<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />...military men are not usually acclimated to providing the kind and gentle touch that is needed by many children. Furthermore there is an inherent difference in</p><p>the parenting styles between sexes. in my humble opinion the bond boys form with their Moms in the early years really define their role in later life. My brother is highly educated, charming, attractive, served in Korea and Vietnam. He also attends mass more than once a week. His son was very tight with his Mom. His son was bright and handsome but did not jump to attention when his Dad spoke. At the age of 15 my brother solved the problem of having a difficult child by showing his the "gate" at the Air Force base where they lived. My sister in law stood by "her man" and let the teen go.</p><p> </p><p>I am giving all this background for a reason. You probably are all that my brother was/is and perhaps lots more. Your post, however, sounds alot like a lopsided game of Who's Good - Who's Bad. Your little boy is alone on one side of the net and you, your wife and the others are "united" on the other. You are expecting him to conform and move on. He is a child who needs a proper neuropsychologist evaluation and the very firm belief that he is loved and will be loved as you seek the right answers together.</p><p> </p><p>After raising (for the most part) four girls and four boys over a span of almost fifty years (with only one still at home!) I can assure you with 100&#37; certainty...IF your son knew how to be exactly what you want him to be HE WOULD DO IT! No child wants to be the unpopular, odd man out in his own home. Find professional help for him and for you. I'm betting that the future will be much brighter once everyone understands each other. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 280315, member: 35"] My father was retired military. My older brother is a retired Air Force colonel. I have great respect for the military BUT...:winking:...military men are not usually acclimated to providing the kind and gentle touch that is needed by many children. Furthermore there is an inherent difference in the parenting styles between sexes. in my humble opinion the bond boys form with their Moms in the early years really define their role in later life. My brother is highly educated, charming, attractive, served in Korea and Vietnam. He also attends mass more than once a week. His son was very tight with his Mom. His son was bright and handsome but did not jump to attention when his Dad spoke. At the age of 15 my brother solved the problem of having a difficult child by showing his the "gate" at the Air Force base where they lived. My sister in law stood by "her man" and let the teen go. I am giving all this background for a reason. You probably are all that my brother was/is and perhaps lots more. Your post, however, sounds alot like a lopsided game of Who's Good - Who's Bad. Your little boy is alone on one side of the net and you, your wife and the others are "united" on the other. You are expecting him to conform and move on. He is a child who needs a proper neuropsychologist evaluation and the very firm belief that he is loved and will be loved as you seek the right answers together. After raising (for the most part) four girls and four boys over a span of almost fifty years (with only one still at home!) I can assure you with 100% certainty...IF your son knew how to be exactly what you want him to be HE WOULD DO IT! No child wants to be the unpopular, odd man out in his own home. Find professional help for him and for you. I'm betting that the future will be much brighter once everyone understands each other. DDD [/QUOTE]
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