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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 373510" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Hi & welcome. There's always been a great deal of "debate" regarding attachment issues here & even among the professionals. I've never seen it bandied about; I've seen it diagnosis'd appropriately & then not so appropriately. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Saying that, attachment disorder is considered after all other possibilities are ruled out at this point in time (tho in my humble opinion it should be taken into account as the evaluations are being done). It's a very real, very intense disorder. My tweedles whom we adopted at age 6 (now 16) were definitely attachment disordered. However, there was a great deal more going on that needed to be addressed before we could address any of the attachment issues.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I would hazard to guess (I'm not MD or anything) that you likely have something of a mix with your young difficult child. For my twins it took a few years of evaluations & hospitalizations to determine the final diagnosis's for both kt & wm: severe attachment disorder, complex PTSD & bipolor. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The first diagnosis to address was the bipolar ~ get the medications regulated so we could deal with the emotional issues. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I survived the early tweedle years by not using the word "no" except in the issues of health or safety. I'd spend time redirecting; when asked to play a video game I didn't say no - I'd delay & say yes you may, after you finish your chores. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I gave kt or wm choices that I could live with - " a cookie after dinner or snack time tomorrow. Bath time in 10 minutes or 30 minutes. Pancakes or french toast for breakfast." This gives a child who's life, for whatever reason was likely out of control , a sense of control that he likely hasn't had ever. Give difficult child choices only you can live with. Don't let them become punitive if at all possible. Use choices only on issues that are not safety or health related.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Try bringing in some sensory items to help teach difficult child self calming; my favorite is a huge container filled with 10 lbs of cheap rice & as many different types of beans you can mix in - a sandbox in the living room. It's fun to sit & sort things with your child; it's also a self calming technique that difficult child may need to utilize. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I used a great deal of time to rock my difficult child children & read to them. Again, anything sensory. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">While you struggle to find the right diagnosis for your difficult child I've offered the above as some of my survival techniques. There are still in use for the tweedles even though they are now 16. These are just some common sense mom things. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Take care of yourself whenever you can ~ it's important not to be drawn into the daily chaos. It's important to maintain your identity.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Please keep in touch & visit often.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 373510, member: 393"] [SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Hi & welcome. There's always been a great deal of "debate" regarding attachment issues here & even among the professionals. I've never seen it bandied about; I've seen it diagnosis'd appropriately & then not so appropriately. Saying that, attachment disorder is considered after all other possibilities are ruled out at this point in time (tho in my humble opinion it should be taken into account as the evaluations are being done). It's a very real, very intense disorder. My tweedles whom we adopted at age 6 (now 16) were definitely attachment disordered. However, there was a great deal more going on that needed to be addressed before we could address any of the attachment issues. I would hazard to guess (I'm not MD or anything) that you likely have something of a mix with your young difficult child. For my twins it took a few years of evaluations & hospitalizations to determine the final diagnosis's for both kt & wm: severe attachment disorder, complex PTSD & bipolor. The first diagnosis to address was the bipolar ~ get the medications regulated so we could deal with the emotional issues. I survived the early tweedle years by not using the word "no" except in the issues of health or safety. I'd spend time redirecting; when asked to play a video game I didn't say no - I'd delay & say yes you may, after you finish your chores. I gave kt or wm choices that I could live with - " a cookie after dinner or snack time tomorrow. Bath time in 10 minutes or 30 minutes. Pancakes or french toast for breakfast." This gives a child who's life, for whatever reason was likely out of control , a sense of control that he likely hasn't had ever. Give difficult child choices only you can live with. Don't let them become punitive if at all possible. Use choices only on issues that are not safety or health related. Try bringing in some sensory items to help teach difficult child self calming; my favorite is a huge container filled with 10 lbs of cheap rice & as many different types of beans you can mix in - a sandbox in the living room. It's fun to sit & sort things with your child; it's also a self calming technique that difficult child may need to utilize. I used a great deal of time to rock my difficult child children & read to them. Again, anything sensory. While you struggle to find the right diagnosis for your difficult child I've offered the above as some of my survival techniques. There are still in use for the tweedles even though they are now 16. These are just some common sense mom things. Take care of yourself whenever you can ~ it's important not to be drawn into the daily chaos. It's important to maintain your identity. Please keep in touch & visit often. [/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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