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<blockquote data-quote="lms1983" data-source="post: 374262"><p>Thank you so much for your kind words and hugs. I have been shouldering this by myself for some time!</p><p></p><p>Moving out: I feel so entrenched. We came here for financial reasons (we were invited - I didn't ask - yet we have never felt at home, even though this is the house I grew up in). Apartments are expensive here, but that's just an excuse. I'm afraid to move out. I never again want to have a cold apartment, or no gas in the car, or a phone that's "temporarily out of order" - never want to put my kids through that again. I would rather hand over a chunk of money to my mom and know that the bills are being paid. Yet everyone is so miserable.</p><p></p><p>DD1 does not have an IEP but she is starting high school in a few weeks, out of town. She was very unhappy in middle school. We live in a very small, clique-y town and she felt outside of things because she is not a "jock" and isn't into cheerleading or performing arts. I think her grades are going to improve, but if they don't, I will ask her guidance counselor for help. </p><p></p><p>Ex-husband is not an option. He's not a bad guy, but he's not helpful. He has only taken the girls overnight 2 or 3 times in the 9 years we've been apart. His mother is 86 and his father died before we were married. He sees them and they know he loves them, but he isn't capable of giving them more than that. </p><p></p><p>My sister is married to a great guy, who makes lots of money; they have a great house (and a great summer house); and two great kids. I feel like such a loser. I get so bitter, you know? Like, what went wrong? I don't care about myself any more, I just want my girls to be happy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lms1983, post: 374262"] Thank you so much for your kind words and hugs. I have been shouldering this by myself for some time! Moving out: I feel so entrenched. We came here for financial reasons (we were invited - I didn't ask - yet we have never felt at home, even though this is the house I grew up in). Apartments are expensive here, but that's just an excuse. I'm afraid to move out. I never again want to have a cold apartment, or no gas in the car, or a phone that's "temporarily out of order" - never want to put my kids through that again. I would rather hand over a chunk of money to my mom and know that the bills are being paid. Yet everyone is so miserable. DD1 does not have an IEP but she is starting high school in a few weeks, out of town. She was very unhappy in middle school. We live in a very small, clique-y town and she felt outside of things because she is not a "jock" and isn't into cheerleading or performing arts. I think her grades are going to improve, but if they don't, I will ask her guidance counselor for help. Ex-husband is not an option. He's not a bad guy, but he's not helpful. He has only taken the girls overnight 2 or 3 times in the 9 years we've been apart. His mother is 86 and his father died before we were married. He sees them and they know he loves them, but he isn't capable of giving them more than that. My sister is married to a great guy, who makes lots of money; they have a great house (and a great summer house); and two great kids. I feel like such a loser. I get so bitter, you know? Like, what went wrong? I don't care about myself any more, I just want my girls to be happy. [/QUOTE]
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