New here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jean242, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. jean242

    jean242 New Member

    Hi.My name is Jean and I am a stay at home mom of a ten year old girl and a almost 9yr old boy. I found you all threw google and right now I am feeling like I broke my kid. Ever since she was three my daughter always had difficulties with school. When she got to Kindergarten the school diagnosed her with Specifiic Learning disorder and told us we didn't need to get a second opinion but could if we wanted to. Since this was a new area for us we decided to just go with the school
    Fast forward to when she was in 4th grade. Major difficulties, temper tantrums, the whole nine yards. The school now says to us-how can we help her. We were beyond stunned. I found and got her in for an auditory processing test which turned out inconclusive because my kid just had a major meltdown because she was so dang frustrated.
    I get the name of a highly recommened Developmental Peditrician and we were able to get an appointment with her which was yesterday. My daughter now has been diagnosed with Non Verbal Learning Disability with an element of dyslexia.
    She had an MRI done three years ago because of headaches she was getting and they found some dark spots on her white matter but they though nothing of it. The Developmental Peditriician is now going to look into it and might order a new one
    I was doing some reading and read that an injury to the right side of the head can cause NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). When she was three we were at the libary and I was offered help to get outside and I turned it down, my daughter threw a temper tantrum and she fell and hit her head on the base of the library window which was metal and need staples in her head. When she was 2 she fell out of the stroller. So yea, I majorly feel like I broke my kid. Like i could've prevented this and right now I don't know how to help her-waiting to get the report back from the doctor. I just want her to be okay
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jean, you did not break her! Accidents happen! She is obviously a hard to handle kid. Don't beat yourself up over those accidents, please.

    Sounds like you are on your way to getting some help for her. That is wonderful progress! Schools can be snarky when they have to spend money on your kid. Weird, I know. But, start getting info about what supports she should have and get her on an IEP so it is official. Just send a letter requesting the evaluation and get an advocate that knows about NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). And cross your fingers! Some school districts try like heck to NOT provide services, money again.

  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Aww, hon, I totally get the Mommy guilt (and trust me, you'd have the exact same guilt if she'd never fallen in her life), but it's counter productive.

    Sounds like you're taking the right steps. You might also want to consider getting your daughter evaled by a neuropsychologist........that evaluation is quite extensive and covers many areas.

    Welcome to the board.

  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi there! I suppose it is natural in a way to blame ourselves. I remember saying I broke my son just several months ago...Of course I didn't but we all wish things could have been different. I assume you have her on an iep for SLD (specific learning disabiity) now...but it sounds like they need to modify the IEP and give her more support. You can call an IEP meeting at any time. Have you ever used an advocate?

    I have worked with several kids with NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) that have not had head trauma, it can just happen. It wont help her for you to blame yourself for accidents. Kids fall all the time, there is no way you can know if it is connected. Right now you need to focus on what the MRI is showing just to make sure nothing is going on there. I hope the dev. pediatrician. does order a new one, maybe even a more in depth (there are different levels and contrast kinds etc...) to make sure there is nothing going on.

    I have a son with a severe brain injury. (yes, rt sided)... and I wish it hadn't have happened but we can really not go back in time. We can only move forward and work to help them reach their potential. What testing did they do at the dev. pediatrician. Sounds like they may have been pretty good, to know about NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) and have enough evidence to diagnose that. Have you been reading up on it? Many kids with NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) look like kids with autism socially. How is her social communication? Have you ever had an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation to make sure there are no subtle motor or sensory things that are adding to her challenges?

    It is heart breaking to wait and wonder about what could be wrong with your child. To pray and beg to have them be ok. We all here know how that feels and you are in the company of many who understand. It is hard some days to even know where to start because there are so many appointments and things to arrange and the whole time the kid is in the background falling apart and exhausting us. So I want to send you hugs of support and I encourage you to come here often and let your concerns and vents be shared. You have found a genuinely caring group of people here.
  5. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I just wanted to say hi and welcome you aboard. What the others have said is correct and I can't add anything different.
  6. jean242

    jean242 New Member

    Thank you all very much. She hasn't seen an Occupational Therapist (OT) specialist since Kindergarten but she still is in speech. She can talk and she loves to talk a little too much at times but it's just so hard to understand her sometimes. I can 98% of the time understand the rest of the time I tell her slow down. She is very immature for her age, she's ten but acts more like an 8yr old. I have her in Juniors and somedays I think it's a blessing she acts so young after hanging with her troop for an hour lol I am over the shock of it all now I am in the let's do this thing mode. I want the report, I want to get the ball rolling now. Unfortently Spring Break is next week so not much I can do until after. She does want me to read to Bry often so I am going to the library on Saturday with her and we are going to pick out a lot of books for her to practice with and for me to read to her. We have books here but they are at a 4-5th grade level-fine for me to read them to her not for her to read. I have let the teachers know what the diagnoses was and that a meeting will be called after the break. She has been on an IEP since Kindergarten. I have never heard of an advocate. What are they and what do they do? She is very bright and I love to argue with her just to hear her point on things. Drives my husband insane but she's an adult in training and she needs to state her thoughts. There are certain things that I wish I remembered from the meeting but I will get the report soon, certain learning things are going to be different for her. She is in a modified classroom setting now, her class gets broken down into groups for certain things but science and social studies isn't one of them so I need to get the lesson plans in advance and prep her for those. In a lot of ways she reminds me of me when she was her age just not to this extent of it all. With kids her age-she doesn't know how to act around them, she tries but it's awkward. She gets along with kids of younger ages and has said she wants to be a Preschool teacher when she is older