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Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by looking4sanity, Jun 16, 2007.

  1. looking4sanity

    looking4sanity New Member

    Hi everyone. My name is Crystal.I am a stay at home mom to a 2 y/o little boy who was recently diagnosed with Disruptive Behavior Disorder. I am a psychology major and am a bit versed on the "definition" part but not too familiar on the parent standpoint. I am upset with my hubster bc he battles my son instead of trying to deal with him. I feel as though my home is a constant war zone and I am the referee. Myfriends cannot understand bc their children are not like mine. I stumbled upon this website (thankfully). Maybe this is not the forum to vent like this and if not please accept my sincerest apology in advance. I have been reading some of your posts about some gluten allergies and such. Can you all tell me some more about that? My son has severe allergies, mostly environmental, however there are some tofoods such as p nuts and milk. I also read where you had asked about repetitive speech and things along those lines...that is totally my son.He cannot stand a change in routine. For example, Monday thru Friday it is me that gets him out of bed every morning. However, my husband will do it on Saturday and my son will flip out and scream and refuse to get out of bed and scream, "NO MOMMY DO IT, MOMMY GET ME OUT, MOMMY GET ME OUT." He will do thatuntil I cannot stand it anymore and go in and get him out of his bed. The same thing happens with his carseat, only in my car. Now when we are in my husbands truck he does the opposite. He screams for daddy to get him out of that seat. Anyway, I could go on for days I am sure.We saw a doctor today and he goes to Vanderbilt onTuesday for an EEG bc hedoes have seizures. Well he has exaggerated febrile seizures--at least thats what they tell me!! So if anyone has any ideas please let meknow. I am open for any ideas esp onthe husband thing!! lol. :biggrin:
     
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi mywitsend, I'm glad you found us! It's a tough job being a mom of a difficult little one and I hope you'll find good help and encouragement here. There's not anything you vented about in your post that isn't "Been there, done that!" stuff for us.

    I would recommend that you pick up a copy of Ross Greene's book "The Explosive Child". It will seem targeted for older kids--and it is--but the general philosophies work with younger kids. Check out the thread at the top of this board on how to adapt the methods for younger children. Many of us have had good results using this strategy. As young as he is and until you have a grasp on what's going on, I'd put my efforts into minimize meltdowns and keeping him safe--it's really not worth dad getting him out of bed one day a week at this point. Later you can work on flexibility but 2 is NOT a good age to do that. by the way, dads usually lag behind on recognizing problems in their kids and many are determined to make their kids comply. Bring dad along to the appts and let the doctors so at least you'll have some help there.

    I would also suggest that you trial finding some system to help make those transitions since we all know those are incredibly disruptive. There's a set of pictures here that might give you an idea of how to go about doing this. In the case of the carseat you'd need pictures of you and your husband taking him out of the carseat so he knows what to expect each time.

    https://web.archive.org/web/2006122...org/setbc/communication/frame_pictureset.html

    I'm going to give you my opinion of Disruptive Behavioral Disorder in a child this young--a totally unprofessional opinion---but by a mom whose seen descriptions of a zillion kids come through here. I always think of this diagnosis as a professional's way of saying "This child has behavioral issues but I don't have a clue as to what's behind those." I would urge you to consider this a working diagnosis that can help you get insurance coverage for any needed therapies plus help justify any services such as early intervention preschool. Get as thorough of an evaluation on him now but since he's so young, expect that you won't get the whole picture at age 2. I always like to see an occuptional therapy evaluation included in young children because sensory issues aren't always obvious to parents and can really throw a kiddo out of whack. Also, many of the sensory strategies are effective even for kids without sensory processing problems--it just gives parents more in their bag of tricks to work with.

    As for the allergies--we've had this go both ways for families. We've had families who discovered that allergies were a serious contributer to their child's issues and that behaviors improved significantly when brought under control. There are also families like mine who blamed allergies for behavioral problems for several years so it clouded over the real reasons because we never considered anything beyond allergies/sinus was going on. In my child's case he turned out not to have allergies at all but chronic sinus problems that required 2 sinus surgeries and experimenting to find a treatment plan for colds that works. A simple RAST test would have helped us eliminate the allergy theory earlier but it looked so much like allergies neither the doctor or I questioned it.

    There's a ton online about gluten (it's being blamed for everything these days) but some children do improve on a gluten free diet. Google and you'll find loads out there. The whole allergy bit is really an area you have to do your own trials and see what makes a difference.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. As one who had a son who "repeated" and acted a lot like yours, I urge you to take him to a developmental pediatrician and not assume that allergies or a dietary change will change him enough. He probably needs special interventions. Without going into too much detail that maybe you're not ready for, my son was a terror at two because he was frustrated due to a neurological disorder. With all the interventions he got (started almost at birth because he was a foster child and they considered him "at risk"), he is now a happy, content, albeit "quirky" child of almot fourteen. He couldn't have made it without these interventions. He's practically mainstreamed now and is able to present as "normal." You may want to take the test I posted. My son has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. Lots of his peers are on gluton-free diets. I don't see much difference between my son and those on diets, but certainly you can try and see. It was the school interventions that helped my son the most. He is medication-free. Take care.
    http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html
     
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi Crystal and welcome. Sorry you have to be here. Unlike SRL's case, my daughter's allergies seem to have been the root cause of her behavior problems. One big clue for us was that her behaviors ebbed and waned greatly throughout the year (and throughout the seasons). She'd have a bad spell lasting, say, six weeks and then POOF! she'd be perfectly normal for a few weeks before cycling again.
    I suggest you start a daily behavior journal so you can track what's going on with your son. I also agree that it's probably a working diagnosis. Have his speech evaluated now, you'll be way ahead if there's a problem.
    As for your husband, it seems many fathers inadvertently escalate the problems by being a tough disciplinarian. My only advice is to have a heart-to-heart, explaining that this technique will not work and actually make things worse. I started following The Explosive Child techniques when Duckie was three. I found I had to let my husband deal with the consequence's of Duckie's rages when he triggered them. He thought I was being "soft", when what I was doing was minimizing the battles in our home so that we could begin parenting again.
    Good luck with the evaluation at Vanderbilt. Let us know how it goes.
     
  5. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    TM, do you think the allergies are the actual root cause or do you think there's a root neurological issue that is easily triggered by allergies?
     
  6. looking4sanity

    looking4sanity New Member

    Thank you allfor the warm welcome. I took the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) assessment and his score is way low. His speech was late but within normal range. I have had a group of Early intervention people in my home evaluating him bc I have known for some time that something is off with him but I cannot place my finger on it. They say he way above average in several areas. His speech was within normal range and now he speaks in complete sentences. The fits are my main concern and the total disreguard for discipline. He will listen to me to a point. He does however repeat himself a lot.He will tell me he sees rhinos out the window too! I really do nmot think they are out there!! lol. But I do not know if that is a normal imaginary thing kids go through. My other 2 kids didn't have the mind hedoes. The behaviorial dude we saw said, "I believe Tristen may go on to be an ADHD kid." Which I do find extrememly hard to believe sinc he can sit and watch Shrek 3 times in a row and not move a muscle. I will just sit here on pins and needles until Tuesday I guess! But thank you all so so so so much.
    Crystal
     
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    If it was the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) assessment at Childbrain, I don't think it would be useful for a 2 year old. It's very difficult to identify a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) at this age unless they have very significant social and speech delays. The borderline and atypical kids usually slip under the radar until later.

    I'm glad you have the ball rolling with early intervention. Even if you can't pinpoint the exact underlying cause, if you can get treatments in place you will have a head start. How far off is his 3rd birthday? The reason I ask is that early childhood preschool is usually a very good option for these kids, even if they are bright. Keep us posted on what they find.

    LOL on the rhinos--I love it. It reminds me of the time that difficult child was about 4 and we came to an intersection in the street and he said "There aren't any elephants here." just as matter of factly as if we should expect to see elephants roaming the streets any day.
     
  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I think she has a quirky neurological system that easily thrown off by her horrendous allergies.
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    We really can't diagnose. Since she is so young (I didn't notice she was 2), I'd see a Dev. Pediatrician for now and have her watched as she progresses and as things change (and they will). Keep up the interventions. They really help!
     
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