bluebell
Well-Known Member
I posted a few months ago in the General Parenting forum. My story is similar to many here and I need support. My difficult child is 17 DS and he has broken my heart and it's why I'm here again. I need to start the process of detachment, he will be 18 in September. Since I first posted we have been trying so hard to get him to shape up but it is clear he is above our influence.
He has been arrested 4 times for various things - 2 for drugs - synth pot and real pot. 3 of these arrests were at school so he's not in school anymore, tried homeschooling off and on and is now trying to get his GED. He's extremely intelligent and passes every practice test they throw at him - he just basically needs to jump thru the hoops and show up and he will get it, but that is hard enough. He had a temporary job at a shoe store in the mall over xmas, but didn't get many hours and spent what little he made on drugs. His social schedule now interferes with his ability to find a job (tongue in cheek).
He and my husband were arrested for domestic battery in August. He became violent again in October and left the house for a week, stayed with a friend and eventually my husband's mom. Then in January he became violent again and was in the psychiatric hospital for one week (luckily my husband learned not to fight back). We just wanted him to follow basic rules - liberal curfew, respect and no drugs. We bought him a used car to replace the new car we had bought him a year ago but would never let him drive, so that he could begin looking for a job in earnest and make it to his GED appointments. In the space of two months he has had a fender bender, gotten a speeding ticket and broke or begged for a curfew change to the point of conflict, he has refused to go to counseling and is no longer taking his medications he was rx'd in psychiatric hospital (not that I want him to mix those with god knows else he's taking), and driven high. Last week he became violent again and kicked in our front door and attacked husband. husband accidentally scratched his neck because they fell down the front steps and when the cops got there they said if they took difficult child in they would have to take husband in too because of the scratch. I begged them not to arrest my husband - he will become a felon if he gets another charge. It will cost thousands to replace the door. We are selling his car and he has not been back home since except once to take a nap and get something to eat. He is staying at this apartment where there is no supervision that these 19/20 year old girls live - but it is just a party pad for anyone and everyone. (I've seen the instagram photos/videos).
I'm sorry this is so long. There is so much to tell.
I have read your stories here - they have touched me and scared me and inspired me- but considering my son's age, have not felt it was fair to consider the detachment process, but I believe I can now start making the steps towards detachment. And I need your help....
He has been arrested 4 times for various things - 2 for drugs - synth pot and real pot. 3 of these arrests were at school so he's not in school anymore, tried homeschooling off and on and is now trying to get his GED. He's extremely intelligent and passes every practice test they throw at him - he just basically needs to jump thru the hoops and show up and he will get it, but that is hard enough. He had a temporary job at a shoe store in the mall over xmas, but didn't get many hours and spent what little he made on drugs. His social schedule now interferes with his ability to find a job (tongue in cheek).
He and my husband were arrested for domestic battery in August. He became violent again in October and left the house for a week, stayed with a friend and eventually my husband's mom. Then in January he became violent again and was in the psychiatric hospital for one week (luckily my husband learned not to fight back). We just wanted him to follow basic rules - liberal curfew, respect and no drugs. We bought him a used car to replace the new car we had bought him a year ago but would never let him drive, so that he could begin looking for a job in earnest and make it to his GED appointments. In the space of two months he has had a fender bender, gotten a speeding ticket and broke or begged for a curfew change to the point of conflict, he has refused to go to counseling and is no longer taking his medications he was rx'd in psychiatric hospital (not that I want him to mix those with god knows else he's taking), and driven high. Last week he became violent again and kicked in our front door and attacked husband. husband accidentally scratched his neck because they fell down the front steps and when the cops got there they said if they took difficult child in they would have to take husband in too because of the scratch. I begged them not to arrest my husband - he will become a felon if he gets another charge. It will cost thousands to replace the door. We are selling his car and he has not been back home since except once to take a nap and get something to eat. He is staying at this apartment where there is no supervision that these 19/20 year old girls live - but it is just a party pad for anyone and everyone. (I've seen the instagram photos/videos).
I'm sorry this is so long. There is so much to tell.
I have read your stories here - they have touched me and scared me and inspired me- but considering my son's age, have not felt it was fair to consider the detachment process, but I believe I can now start making the steps towards detachment. And I need your help....