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Parent Emeritus
New .... intro and shameless plea for support
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 348076" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>When dealing with anything concerning my grown kids I say something to myself "Where was I at that age, and what would I have thought about parental input?" (most especially per whatever actions I may be considering) This helps me remember what it was like at their age.......what I felt.......and how I looked at the world. And often, actually more often than not, it helps me keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself and maintain a good friendly relationship with my kids. lol </p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, your daughter is now 18. That means if she wants to go live with this guy in the other state......you can't do a darn thing to stop her. It stinks to high heaven, but that is the way it is. How is your relationship? Do you have one where if you could sit down and have a heart to heart neither will wind up screaming at the other? (hard I know with teens) Do you think it possible to talk with her without inserting advice/opinions so that you can figure out what she's thinking, then maybe show her the pros and the cons and be able to discuss it?</p><p></p><p>With my girls I ease into these touchy conversations. I want to know their plans, what they're thinking and feeling. Then I can come up with a reasonable way to approach it without as much risk of them becoming defensive and refusing to listen at all. I'm very careful not to tell them what they want to do or whatever is wrong. (or I do my utter best not to, I'm far from perfect) I just try to help them see both sides of things so that hopefully they can make a much more informed decision. And if they make the wrong one......well, some of our best life lessons are through mistakes, some huge, some small. Lord knows I've made more than my fair share.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 348076, member: 84"] Welcome to the board.:happy: When dealing with anything concerning my grown kids I say something to myself "Where was I at that age, and what would I have thought about parental input?" (most especially per whatever actions I may be considering) This helps me remember what it was like at their age.......what I felt.......and how I looked at the world. And often, actually more often than not, it helps me keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself and maintain a good friendly relationship with my kids. lol Unfortunately, your daughter is now 18. That means if she wants to go live with this guy in the other state......you can't do a darn thing to stop her. It stinks to high heaven, but that is the way it is. How is your relationship? Do you have one where if you could sit down and have a heart to heart neither will wind up screaming at the other? (hard I know with teens) Do you think it possible to talk with her without inserting advice/opinions so that you can figure out what she's thinking, then maybe show her the pros and the cons and be able to discuss it? With my girls I ease into these touchy conversations. I want to know their plans, what they're thinking and feeling. Then I can come up with a reasonable way to approach it without as much risk of them becoming defensive and refusing to listen at all. I'm very careful not to tell them what they want to do or whatever is wrong. (or I do my utter best not to, I'm far from perfect) I just try to help them see both sides of things so that hopefully they can make a much more informed decision. And if they make the wrong one......well, some of our best life lessons are through mistakes, some huge, some small. Lord knows I've made more than my fair share. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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