I did a google search of "parents of kids with ODD" and you were the first hit. I don't even know where to begin introducing myself, and I'm sure my story isn't new. I have a daughter who just turned 18. She has ODD and quite possibly is bi-polar (can't get a firm diagnosis because she refuses any psychological treatment - doctor prescribed medications as a trial run. Note, family doctor who has been with us for years and has watched my daughter go through all of this. Did great on the medications and was a whole new person until she decided pot was better and she doesn't really need them. Now she's a vicious animal again and apparently I'm a F-ing psycho B**** who is trying to control her and she's an adult and I can't tell her what to do anyway /end quote). We've almost gotten her through high school. She has to do independent study through a charter school because she can't handle "regular" school and they can't handle her. She went to the principals office for behavioral problems for the first time when she was in kindergarden. She was in 4th grade the first time she was suspended. We've only made it this far by making it as easy as possible and fighting her every step of the way. I've always rescued her from herself, which I now regret. I should have let her fail. I'm sure I can go through the whole spiel about how I've tried everything... but you already know the story. All that's left is self-blame and self-loathing and utter terror that she will never be a productive member of society. That and the anger, bitterness, and resentment that parents are never supposed to feel. I would have a hard time referring to her as a difficult child. PFG would make more sense. My heart is a little too wounded to look on that bright side right now. I tend to be a cynic and use a lot of sarcastic humor to survive. I'm sure that will come through here and may make people uncomfortable. Please call me on it if it upsets you - it is not my intention to be rude or disrespectful to anyone. I'm just all open sores and thick, spikey defense mechanisms from living through daily verbal abuse. Nobody understands this. They're sure it's the result of bad parenting and poor disciplinary decisions. I spend most of my waking hours trying to pour through every memory and figure out where I went wrong, which I realize is self-indulgent and pointless, but it's hard to resist... like pulling at a loose thread even though I know the only result is unraveling my own sanity. I'm sure there are facts and figures I'm supposed to be listing in order to give you a sense of who I am. I'm not sure what all I'm supposed to say. Just writing all of this down is difficult enough. I certainly rarely even say this stuff out loud. Putting it in writing gives it a finality and a truth that are overwhelming. This was not my life plan. And these were not my dreams for her.