So I'm just going to throw you all into it so hold on. I married into my husbands family about five years ago and coming from a very strict background being around his family was a bit of a culture shock. Especially the trio of his mom, sister and niece (difficult child). Witnessing them interact was appalling. There was name calling, slamming doors, calls to my husband from my sister in law about the latest thing my mother in law did or the latest thing her daughter (difficult child) did. Stories of slamming doors and niece (difficult child) kicking walls and throw things at my sister in law or my mother in law down the stairs. Now here we are a couple years down the road. Niece is now 14. They have her on a string of medications, have her in an alternative school because she can't get along socially with the other kids (They pick on her). She's also see a therapist. Well her mom got approval from the state for 28 hours a month of caregiving. They asked me if I would be interested, it was a paying job and so I agreed. I could see the path this girl was going on and part of me wanted to help. Help her become more sociable or self assured. ~~~~~~~ So I found out from difficult child's father (dead beat dad) that difficult child had been on the computer and had gotten scammed in a way. She was in a program called imvu which is all about chat rooms and mostly for tweens and teens. Some guy told her he all these bonuses for her and she just needed to get her parents credit card. But he promised her he wasn't going to charge the card. >.< So she sneaks her mom's card and gives it to the guy but there is a security block. He needs her address, she doesn't know their address. (She's 14 and she doesn't know her own address??) So she asks her mom. Mom is like "What do you need that for?" and mom starts getting suspicious. difficult child starts to get secretive and upset that mom isn't telling her the address. Finally difficult child becomes angry and storms off to go call grandmom (mother in law). (Whenever she's pissed off at her mom she goes to grand mom to complain) She gets grand mom pay pall info and gives it to the guy. And is told by the guy there is security info he needs from her. difficult child starts to finally get suspicious and logs off. Not sure how mom finds out but I guess her mom (sister in law) starts to ask her a bunch of questions and she fesses up to what happens. Grandmother and mom flip out and start changing canceling their accounts and changing password. Her mother takes the computer away for 2 days but gives it back cause difficult child looks sorry about it. What angers me when I learn all this is that they don't even know what web site she was on. They tell us. "Oh it was just a video game." So my husband and I look it up. No. It's one of the social chat rooms. They didn't even know she was sitting around in chat rooms talking to strangers. So in my next session I sit down with difficult child and talk to her about internet safty, scammers, gold sellers etc. I'm pretty active in online media and games, I've been on the computer for years now I know what to watch out for. I ask her about this 'game' she was playing and..presto! She's actually very eager to show me, drinking up the attention I was giving her. And that's how I learn it's a large social chat scene. ~~~ fast forward to yesterday ~~~ I get a text from sister in law asking if this week I could write difficult child a list of "warning signs" She can hang by her computer because I know the internet better then they do. Cue head exploding. This is infuriating to me because to me her mother should be the one sitting down with her daughter and talking to her about these things. This is just a piece of paper so the mother can feel better about letting her daughter be on the computer unsupervised. "Well, she has a list of warning signs. That's going to help her be safe." And I also got a report that everything was quite that week cause difficult child got a new video game and she's been playing that all week and not in the chat rooms. Oh hooray! Another opportunity to NOT be a parent. Lets give her another video game to distract her! So I'm trying to bite my tongue here and just do what difficult child's mother asks. I'm not sure if it's my place to tell her that this piece of paper isn't going to replace a watchful parent. That being safe on the internet is not just a few 'key words' to look out for. But I also don't want to just be some glorified babysitter with a nice title. I want to really help the kid when she's here. I want her to be safe and not be lured away by some weirdo on the computer.