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new member, crabby day
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<blockquote data-quote="mammatwo" data-source="post: 317969" data-attributes="member: 8381"><p>He had a bit of a tantrum in his room but didn't come out or try to engage his brother in any kind of fight. We sat and talked a little about things that make him feel better when he's angry, and I told him that he was doing a good job by staying in his room and not trying to hurt his brother. He threw some things around in his room and we talked about how maybe he could pick that stuff up "angry style" and slam things back where they belong later on...doubt that will happen but at least it was a thing to talk about, planting a seed maybe.</p><p></p><p>He calmed down some and had a glass of milk and some carrot sticks. </p><p></p><p>All is quiet now, I think in a bit I may go see how he is doing.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Part of the problem is the wife's mom- he likes to call her when he has been punished or when we say no to him. She will often tell him that she'll get him whatever it is we won't, and basically undermine any consistent discipline we set up. Today he has no phone, so he had the tantrum because he could not call her. </p><p></p><p>When I sat and talked to him I asked him what things she did that made him feel better. First he said "buys me everything I want" and "I never get in trouble, she doesn't punish me or say no" but I kept asking. Eventually he said "she says things to me nicely and rocks me in a chair when I cry"</p><p></p><p>So I told him to think about being rocked and try to breathe. That he could learn to feel better even when she wasn't there.</p><p></p><p>HE's calm now, hope it lasts a while.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mammatwo, post: 317969, member: 8381"] He had a bit of a tantrum in his room but didn't come out or try to engage his brother in any kind of fight. We sat and talked a little about things that make him feel better when he's angry, and I told him that he was doing a good job by staying in his room and not trying to hurt his brother. He threw some things around in his room and we talked about how maybe he could pick that stuff up "angry style" and slam things back where they belong later on...doubt that will happen but at least it was a thing to talk about, planting a seed maybe. He calmed down some and had a glass of milk and some carrot sticks. All is quiet now, I think in a bit I may go see how he is doing. Part of the problem is the wife's mom- he likes to call her when he has been punished or when we say no to him. She will often tell him that she'll get him whatever it is we won't, and basically undermine any consistent discipline we set up. Today he has no phone, so he had the tantrum because he could not call her. When I sat and talked to him I asked him what things she did that made him feel better. First he said "buys me everything I want" and "I never get in trouble, she doesn't punish me or say no" but I kept asking. Eventually he said "she says things to me nicely and rocks me in a chair when I cry" So I told him to think about being rocked and try to breathe. That he could learn to feel better even when she wasn't there. HE's calm now, hope it lasts a while. [/QUOTE]
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