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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 352315" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi t here.</p><p></p><p>Is he also adopted?</p><p></p><p>I hate to tell you this, but most likely he HAS molested other kids. And he probably molested your kids more than you know. We adopted a child who was doing that for three years and we didn't know it (yes, I feel stupid) until he was finally given to the state (we did this once we found out). He had probably been molested himself in foster care, but he didn't remember and had no remorse about it. He also killed two of our dogs and set little fires (we didn't find out about the little fires until he left). My kids were simply too scared of him to tell us anything until months of therapy after he was gone. His diagnosis when we found everything out and he left was "severe reactive attachment disorder" which is about the same as CD or antisoscial personality disorder only they don't diagnose that in kids. I would NEVEr leave him alone with any of your other kids (and I mean 24/7) and I'd get a buzzer on his door at night so you know when he leaves the room. Better to check on him and be tired then have him meander into the little one's room to do sexual things or to have him torture an animal. We were shocked when we found out the degree of his abuse. He actually forced my kids, at knifepoint, to have sex. I'm just telling you this because kids usually protect their abuser. They are too afraid of him. He threatens to kill them and since he has hurt them so badly already, they believe he will. "If you tell anyone..." Usually kids who molest were also molested.</p><p></p><p>There are three big symptoms that point to impending antisocial personality disorder: peeing and pooping inappropriately, fire setting, and cruelty to animals. You may not know if he does all three (like we didn't know about his itty bitty fire play), but it sounds like he could be well on his way. At this point, if it were me, knowing what I now know, I wouldn't want him in the house. in my opinion he belongs in residential treatment. I don't think you are taking this seriously enough and I say that with love because I know we don't want to think our kids are THAT sick. Is there hope? I'm not sure. He would need intensive therapy, but from what I know an antisocial personality is pretty much inborn (and it sounds like he doesn't really have normal emotions toward people...maybe he has this). Certainly he needs to be in some program for young sexual predators. That is where they put the child we adopted. I don't know if it helped or not. I do know that he was inappropriate at least one time there a nd they had cameras even in the bathrooms and he knew it...</p><p></p><p>If he has been alone with your girls he most likely already was inappropriate with them, whether or not they are willing to tell you. I'd get the entire family into therapy.</p><p></p><p>Good luck! I know how hard this is!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 352315, member: 1550"] Hi t here. Is he also adopted? I hate to tell you this, but most likely he HAS molested other kids. And he probably molested your kids more than you know. We adopted a child who was doing that for three years and we didn't know it (yes, I feel stupid) until he was finally given to the state (we did this once we found out). He had probably been molested himself in foster care, but he didn't remember and had no remorse about it. He also killed two of our dogs and set little fires (we didn't find out about the little fires until he left). My kids were simply too scared of him to tell us anything until months of therapy after he was gone. His diagnosis when we found everything out and he left was "severe reactive attachment disorder" which is about the same as CD or antisoscial personality disorder only they don't diagnose that in kids. I would NEVEr leave him alone with any of your other kids (and I mean 24/7) and I'd get a buzzer on his door at night so you know when he leaves the room. Better to check on him and be tired then have him meander into the little one's room to do sexual things or to have him torture an animal. We were shocked when we found out the degree of his abuse. He actually forced my kids, at knifepoint, to have sex. I'm just telling you this because kids usually protect their abuser. They are too afraid of him. He threatens to kill them and since he has hurt them so badly already, they believe he will. "If you tell anyone..." Usually kids who molest were also molested. There are three big symptoms that point to impending antisocial personality disorder: peeing and pooping inappropriately, fire setting, and cruelty to animals. You may not know if he does all three (like we didn't know about his itty bitty fire play), but it sounds like he could be well on his way. At this point, if it were me, knowing what I now know, I wouldn't want him in the house. in my opinion he belongs in residential treatment. I don't think you are taking this seriously enough and I say that with love because I know we don't want to think our kids are THAT sick. Is there hope? I'm not sure. He would need intensive therapy, but from what I know an antisocial personality is pretty much inborn (and it sounds like he doesn't really have normal emotions toward people...maybe he has this). Certainly he needs to be in some program for young sexual predators. That is where they put the child we adopted. I don't know if it helped or not. I do know that he was inappropriate at least one time there a nd they had cameras even in the bathrooms and he knew it... If he has been alone with your girls he most likely already was inappropriate with them, whether or not they are willing to tell you. I'd get the entire family into therapy. Good luck! I know how hard this is! [/QUOTE]
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