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<blockquote data-quote="not_so_silently_suffering" data-source="post: 352855"><p>I tried to respond to this before, but it didn't post. Thank you for all of your information and advice. It's so overwhelming to have a child with CD, ADHD. My son lives with my ex, who lives four hours away. Now that my husband knows what CD is, and what it entails, he's pretty freaked out. He has made it clear he doesn't want my son staying with us. (I completely understand) I feel tremendously guilty because before I knew he had this disorder, I agreed to take my son for the summer. His father will make me feel like a horrible parent for changing my mind. My son has damaged property before and took off without permission before. Having someone else here all the time to help support me would be one thing. However, my husband's job requires him to travel a lot, and I am alone much of the time. I don't know that I can handle him alone. I don't know how to explain my ex that this is not something I think I can do alone. I have a little girl who is 18 months old. We have to worry about her safety, as she lives with me all the time. My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage and she stays periodically too (she's also four hours away). We can have her here when he is not. I am afraid my ex will give me the "you need to take responsibility" guilt trip. </p><p></p><p>I guess the question I have is how to I handle my ex? I am so overwhelmed by this. Any suggestions?</p><p></p><p>Just a bit of background on my son. My son is biological, and his dad and I had a horrible marriage. Dad was verbally and mentally abusive. He cheated repeatedly. Our divorce was very traumatic for our son. I got custody. When our son was in kindergarten he was diagnosed with ADHD, so issues at school and home are nothing new. When he turned 10, he was destroying property, making up kidnapping stories to the police, was getting physically violent with me, getting suspended from school for fighting. For the year I had custody, he kept saying he wanted to move to live with his Dad. He kept rebelling, and finally, as a single parent, I couldn't handle things alone anymore. Later down the road, after I remarried, I ended up moving to another State with my husband for a year, due to his job and then we moved back. He's had issues since he was pretty young. I basically was left to handle all of them alone from the time my son was really little, up until my son went to live with his Dad. His father was either unable or unwilling to support me with him long before we divorced. He acted as though going to work each day was his only responsibility. I fought long and hard for our child, and feel so discouraged for him and for us. Now that my ex has custody, he's frustrated, and bitter, and doesn't volunteer any information at all unless it involves some insurance issue, which is usually how I find out our child even has an issue. It really stinks. This is why I didn't know about his CD until 6 months after the fact</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="not_so_silently_suffering, post: 352855"] I tried to respond to this before, but it didn't post. Thank you for all of your information and advice. It's so overwhelming to have a child with CD, ADHD. My son lives with my ex, who lives four hours away. Now that my husband knows what CD is, and what it entails, he's pretty freaked out. He has made it clear he doesn't want my son staying with us. (I completely understand) I feel tremendously guilty because before I knew he had this disorder, I agreed to take my son for the summer. His father will make me feel like a horrible parent for changing my mind. My son has damaged property before and took off without permission before. Having someone else here all the time to help support me would be one thing. However, my husband's job requires him to travel a lot, and I am alone much of the time. I don't know that I can handle him alone. I don't know how to explain my ex that this is not something I think I can do alone. I have a little girl who is 18 months old. We have to worry about her safety, as she lives with me all the time. My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage and she stays periodically too (she's also four hours away). We can have her here when he is not. I am afraid my ex will give me the "you need to take responsibility" guilt trip. I guess the question I have is how to I handle my ex? I am so overwhelmed by this. Any suggestions? Just a bit of background on my son. My son is biological, and his dad and I had a horrible marriage. Dad was verbally and mentally abusive. He cheated repeatedly. Our divorce was very traumatic for our son. I got custody. When our son was in kindergarten he was diagnosed with ADHD, so issues at school and home are nothing new. When he turned 10, he was destroying property, making up kidnapping stories to the police, was getting physically violent with me, getting suspended from school for fighting. For the year I had custody, he kept saying he wanted to move to live with his Dad. He kept rebelling, and finally, as a single parent, I couldn't handle things alone anymore. Later down the road, after I remarried, I ended up moving to another State with my husband for a year, due to his job and then we moved back. He's had issues since he was pretty young. I basically was left to handle all of them alone from the time my son was really little, up until my son went to live with his Dad. His father was either unable or unwilling to support me with him long before we divorced. He acted as though going to work each day was his only responsibility. I fought long and hard for our child, and feel so discouraged for him and for us. Now that my ex has custody, he's frustrated, and bitter, and doesn't volunteer any information at all unless it involves some insurance issue, which is usually how I find out our child even has an issue. It really stinks. This is why I didn't know about his CD until 6 months after the fact [/QUOTE]
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