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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 666866" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh hon. Do you have domestic abuse shelters there? I feel you are being greatly abused. It is not just if he or daughter hit you. They are destroying your self worth. And can you request to see a therapist to help validate your decisions? Maybe its just me, but I could not live with somebody like your husband and daughter is old enough to be on her own, without you. She may have inherted some of husbands personality. Also, nobody ever taught her to take care of her space. Maybe that is why she is messy. She may not even know how to organize her room to make it neat. Some people need to be taught. I grew up in chaos and did not learn many skills most kids learn at home.</p><p></p><p>It is not always best to stay. A nice but screaming house is not, in my opinion, better for the kids than a peaceful, loving environment in an apartment.</p><p></p><p>Nobody can decide your path for you. We can only tell you what we would do or what we did. My divorce was scary, but a good decision for the family and I met a wonderful man after divorce and have two kids we raised together. Those two kids, brought up without much money but without chaos and with love, are calmer and more stable than the two raised in a loveless home.</p><p></p><p>You matter too. You deserve peace and stability in your life. You deserve a clean home and a quiet one. I feel our homes, however humble, should be our sanctuaries. You can decide that as well.</p><p></p><p>You have decisions to make if you want things to change and to be better for your son and you and maybe eventually your daughter. If you do not make changes your life will probably stay the same.</p><p></p><p>Divoce is hard. When I did it I had no family support at all and no money I lived on my small salary and child support until I met my second husband who has been so good to me.</p><p></p><p>I hope some things we have told you let you see that you are not trapped and that you matter.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you only the best. Keep us updated. We care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 666866, member: 1550"] Oh hon. Do you have domestic abuse shelters there? I feel you are being greatly abused. It is not just if he or daughter hit you. They are destroying your self worth. And can you request to see a therapist to help validate your decisions? Maybe its just me, but I could not live with somebody like your husband and daughter is old enough to be on her own, without you. She may have inherted some of husbands personality. Also, nobody ever taught her to take care of her space. Maybe that is why she is messy. She may not even know how to organize her room to make it neat. Some people need to be taught. I grew up in chaos and did not learn many skills most kids learn at home. It is not always best to stay. A nice but screaming house is not, in my opinion, better for the kids than a peaceful, loving environment in an apartment. Nobody can decide your path for you. We can only tell you what we would do or what we did. My divorce was scary, but a good decision for the family and I met a wonderful man after divorce and have two kids we raised together. Those two kids, brought up without much money but without chaos and with love, are calmer and more stable than the two raised in a loveless home. You matter too. You deserve peace and stability in your life. You deserve a clean home and a quiet one. I feel our homes, however humble, should be our sanctuaries. You can decide that as well. You have decisions to make if you want things to change and to be better for your son and you and maybe eventually your daughter. If you do not make changes your life will probably stay the same. Divoce is hard. When I did it I had no family support at all and no money I lived on my small salary and child support until I met my second husband who has been so good to me. I hope some things we have told you let you see that you are not trapped and that you matter. Wishing you only the best. Keep us updated. We care. [/QUOTE]
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