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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 670342" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>Ah, those sleepless nights... yes I'm awake with you most morning between 3 and 5. My mind seems to work in a different way in the middle of the night, as if the logical, sensible thought processing button is stuck on 'catastrophise' between those hours. As soon as the alarm goes off and I have to get up I'm ready to fall back into a deep peaceful sensible sleep.</p><p></p><p>I split with my son's father when he was 15. It's a long story, but both my children have told me that they wished I'd left earlier, which is a bit ironic as I only stayed so long for their sakes. I think if you were unhappy in your marriage, then staying could have been more damaging to your children than following your heart. I wish I had got out and taken my children away from the situation when they were much younger. I think as mothers we blame ourselves and beat ourselves up no matter <em>what</em> decisions we've made along the way.</p><p></p><p>You ask these questions that are impossible to answer:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Who knows. I would say "probably not".</p><p></p><p>You could just as easily ask these questions:</p><p></p><p>"would <em>I </em>have been ok if I'd stayed with his dad?"</p><p></p><p>"would my son have been ok if I wasn't ok?"</p><p></p><p>I often feel guilty for marrying my son's father in the first place and for bringing children into this troubled world. The question I mostly ask myself is:</p><p></p><p>"what the hell was I thinking?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 670342, member: 17650"] Ah, those sleepless nights... yes I'm awake with you most morning between 3 and 5. My mind seems to work in a different way in the middle of the night, as if the logical, sensible thought processing button is stuck on 'catastrophise' between those hours. As soon as the alarm goes off and I have to get up I'm ready to fall back into a deep peaceful sensible sleep. I split with my son's father when he was 15. It's a long story, but both my children have told me that they wished I'd left earlier, which is a bit ironic as I only stayed so long for their sakes. I think if you were unhappy in your marriage, then staying could have been more damaging to your children than following your heart. I wish I had got out and taken my children away from the situation when they were much younger. I think as mothers we blame ourselves and beat ourselves up no matter [I]what[/I] decisions we've made along the way. You ask these questions that are impossible to answer: Who knows. I would say "probably not". You could just as easily ask these questions: "would [I]I [/I]have been ok if I'd stayed with his dad?" "would my son have been ok if I wasn't ok?" I often feel guilty for marrying my son's father in the first place and for bringing children into this troubled world. The question I mostly ask myself is: "what the hell was I thinking?" [/QUOTE]
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