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<blockquote data-quote="believe" data-source="post: 670404" data-attributes="member: 19652"><p>nlj and new leaf...your words have truly given me the power and ability to allow myself to be a "human" ...thank you....this morning for the first time I have entertained the possibility that I'm not the sole cause of all of this....I feel like I'm walking out of a deep deep black hole...all of my other kids have said to me that the fighting between their dad and me was all they remember.....so coming to an understanding that my youngest may have blamed me even if I had stayed is freeing to say the least.....and the question you posed "would I have been ok if I had stayed with his dad"...well the answer to that is a resounding NO.......I do know this I did everything right for my kids when I left the marriage.....I kept them in their school around their already existing friends and made sure they were more important to me than my new marriage so on some level I know that my youngest just maybe didn't have the ability to turn that situation into something that could possibly have made him a stronger better person....there is some weakness in my son that I cannot figure out.....he has lost two girlfriends (nice girls...although not without their own issues and problems ...which seems to be the girls he goes after....but lost both bc of not working .....and his behavior and constantly blaming them and not himself)....I saw just yesterday that he wrote of fb again a long rant towards one of them blaming her and not himself for the break up) Her answer was grown men shouldn't need to supported....and I wanted to scream at him LISTEN TO HER.......He is now living with his father bc he will never be to allowed to live with me again...well let me take that back (never say never)...if any of my children or stepchildren are hardworking self supporting but have fallen on a hard time they are always welcome in our home until they recover but they can't use my house as revolving door bc they are lazy an don't/won't work....I've worked my whole life...I come from a family of working people..my father held 3 jobs to provide for our family....I just don't get it....do you think that smoking pot and taking pills and then being so out of it that you can't get up for work the next day is just a crutch being used so he can be lazy???...my husband (his stepdad) cannot even watch this anymore...he is a stage 4 cancer survivor (70 yrs old) and still gets up everyday and builds additions, decks, etc....he says working saved him.....he thinks my son is weak and lazy....omg is he right??? or is my son mentally ill????...anyway I'm just typing thoughts now....thanks for the wonderful support...Believe</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="believe, post: 670404, member: 19652"] nlj and new leaf...your words have truly given me the power and ability to allow myself to be a "human" ...thank you....this morning for the first time I have entertained the possibility that I'm not the sole cause of all of this....I feel like I'm walking out of a deep deep black hole...all of my other kids have said to me that the fighting between their dad and me was all they remember.....so coming to an understanding that my youngest may have blamed me even if I had stayed is freeing to say the least.....and the question you posed "would I have been ok if I had stayed with his dad"...well the answer to that is a resounding NO.......I do know this I did everything right for my kids when I left the marriage.....I kept them in their school around their already existing friends and made sure they were more important to me than my new marriage so on some level I know that my youngest just maybe didn't have the ability to turn that situation into something that could possibly have made him a stronger better person....there is some weakness in my son that I cannot figure out.....he has lost two girlfriends (nice girls...although not without their own issues and problems ...which seems to be the girls he goes after....but lost both bc of not working .....and his behavior and constantly blaming them and not himself)....I saw just yesterday that he wrote of fb again a long rant towards one of them blaming her and not himself for the break up) Her answer was grown men shouldn't need to supported....and I wanted to scream at him LISTEN TO HER.......He is now living with his father bc he will never be to allowed to live with me again...well let me take that back (never say never)...if any of my children or stepchildren are hardworking self supporting but have fallen on a hard time they are always welcome in our home until they recover but they can't use my house as revolving door bc they are lazy an don't/won't work....I've worked my whole life...I come from a family of working people..my father held 3 jobs to provide for our family....I just don't get it....do you think that smoking pot and taking pills and then being so out of it that you can't get up for work the next day is just a crutch being used so he can be lazy???...my husband (his stepdad) cannot even watch this anymore...he is a stage 4 cancer survivor (70 yrs old) and still gets up everyday and builds additions, decks, etc....he says working saved him.....he thinks my son is weak and lazy....omg is he right??? or is my son mentally ill????...anyway I'm just typing thoughts now....thanks for the wonderful support...Believe [/QUOTE]
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