New member in need of adviced

[LOOKING FOR SANITY]

i am a new member to this site and am not quite fimiliar with how this all works, but i felt like i needed to talk to parents that are going through the same thing i am. I am a stay at home mom right now but i recently graduated from nursing school, so hopefully i will not be unemployeed for too much longer. My husband and i have 5 kids{ 10,8,3,2,11 months), and my husband works afternoon shift so i am alone most of the time with them. My oldest travis just recently was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and he literally makes life hell for everyone here in the after school hours. Being the oldest all of the others look up to him and trust me he does not set a very good example. He is very aggressive. I am worried he is going to eventually hurt his self or one of the others. I was just wondering if anyone had any good tips for helping get things back under control in my house.

 

[klmno]

Get a good psychiatrist (child&adolescent certified psychiatrist) on board quickly and get a second opinion if it makes you feel better or if you don't see medications working and psychiatrist doesn;'t take it serious. First- make sure you are comfortable with the diagnosis (diagnosis). Has he had neuropsychological testing done? That will help confirm the diagnosis and reveal any special areas he needs supports in. Personally, knowing what I know now, if you are comfortable that this is the right diagnosis, I'd look for a psychiatrist that does counseling instead of getting a therapist for my child. The therapist (therapist) we have come across only do the typical, which from my experience, doesn't deal with mental illness at all when it's a child involved. But- a therapist might also be good for you just to relieve some of your stress by having someone to talk to in person.

And- sorry- Hello and welcome!! There is a world of experience, support, and understanding here. Feel free to post specific questions, concerns or vents- we all do it! LOL!

 

[bran155]

Hello and welcome. I would second everything that klmno said! Finding this site was a good start. The people here are absolutely wonderful, full of advice, kindness and wisdom. Finding this place was the absolute best thing that I have ever done for myself.

Others will be along soon to share their wisdom. I just wanted to welcome you. Hang in there and God bless.

 

[MDL]

Hello, I am also a very new member. I have no words of advice for you, as we are just starting down our own path with our six year old son, but I can tell you that you're not alone.

 

[KTMom91]

Welcome to the board!

 

[Jena]

Hi and welcome!

Getting your house under control?? HMM i'm still working on mine lol. I agree with everything klmno said as well. Good points made all around.

Bipolar diagnosis is a hard one to swallow. You sound very comfortable in the diagnosis, almost as though you are in acceptance mode. Which is wonderful. I was in denial for a while. I think as parents we know our kids are different somehow yet when we start getting those diagnosis's it can really be a bit of a awakening for some of us, I know it was for me. There are days I still say wow I cannot believe.

I know for me what has worked with my little BiPolar (BP) girl is; routine, scheduling a bit rigid yet they seem to thrive in lives of predictability and routine. So getting together some sort of schedule posted somewhere is a good idea.

I'd also say from experience not engaging is huge! My daughter, difficult child is very head strong, very set in her ways, can get angered easily and triggered often. I try to achieve things with her now and it can be everyday things i'll request ie. hw, chores, personal hygiene, etc. with 3 prompts to do it, if by third she doens't comply than followed by a quick consequence. This is usually where it gets ugly. She will become verbally rough with me yet I dont' respond i let it go.

I know our kids have mental illness, yet there has to be lines in the sand i think regarding what behaviors we are willing to accept and which ones we aren't willing to. My daughter has it, yet she's also still young, her rages are minimal and mostly verbal attacks whereas i know alot of other parents go through some really rough stuff at home. I find that when I engage it escalates the situation to an out of control level than all parental power is lost at that point.

Like klmno said someone working with him whether it be a therapist or phdoc they have to learn coping skills to deal with everything that comes with the illness. I'Tourette's Syndrome not easy I know.

I'm sorry i have soo rambled. Welcome again and there are alot of great ppl here, which i'm sure will follow. You are soo not alone.