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Substance Abuse
New member - Just found out 15 y/o difficult child using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 525364" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Please, please, please don't look for things you did wrong. I don't know if you are doing that or not, but I'm afraid that you are. You sound like you and your hub did NOTHING wrong. Peer pressure is tough for our kids (and most kids) and any child, even from a stellar family, can succumb to it. </p><p>Whoever said to do everything you can now, while she is still fifteen, I would agree with. Is there a program you can send her to? The best thing that happened to our daughter was when she had to leave the state (because she was no longer welcome in our house...we had two young kids and the cops that kept coming over scared them to death). Once she was away from her nasty group of friends, without a car, having to walk to a job at Subway (or else without money), she had a chance to think about her life without her peers threatening her if she tried to quit. Maybe a boarding school with treatment in another neck of the woods is a good idea? We never tried it because we couldn't afford it. And, although Daughter was on parole twice, social services never offered to help us help her. If you have the resources, do what you can. </p><p>But don't ever ever ever spend a moment blaming yourself for this. It is a societal problem and in my opinion not anything you did or didn't do. She knows, even at her worst moments, that you love her and will support her if she wants help. I really feel badly for you and all parents who are going through this. I will never forget the sick feeling I had for so many years...but it can turn out good. Just take one day at a time and hope for the best.</p><p></p><p>To Sig: I don't believe your son really blames you. He knows the blame is on him, but he doesn't want to be accountable for his behavior yet. You are an easy target. He's unhappy with himself and probably confused so he lashes out at you, who love him so much. I had to listen to so much venom from my daughter when she was using, but now we are close and she says she didn't mean the stuff she said to us when she was on drugs, and I think most difficult child's realize it is their faults, not ours. I also think your son will come back to you and has a good shot at cleaning up his act. I sure hope so. Sending hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 525364, member: 1550"] Please, please, please don't look for things you did wrong. I don't know if you are doing that or not, but I'm afraid that you are. You sound like you and your hub did NOTHING wrong. Peer pressure is tough for our kids (and most kids) and any child, even from a stellar family, can succumb to it. Whoever said to do everything you can now, while she is still fifteen, I would agree with. Is there a program you can send her to? The best thing that happened to our daughter was when she had to leave the state (because she was no longer welcome in our house...we had two young kids and the cops that kept coming over scared them to death). Once she was away from her nasty group of friends, without a car, having to walk to a job at Subway (or else without money), she had a chance to think about her life without her peers threatening her if she tried to quit. Maybe a boarding school with treatment in another neck of the woods is a good idea? We never tried it because we couldn't afford it. And, although Daughter was on parole twice, social services never offered to help us help her. If you have the resources, do what you can. But don't ever ever ever spend a moment blaming yourself for this. It is a societal problem and in my opinion not anything you did or didn't do. She knows, even at her worst moments, that you love her and will support her if she wants help. I really feel badly for you and all parents who are going through this. I will never forget the sick feeling I had for so many years...but it can turn out good. Just take one day at a time and hope for the best. To Sig: I don't believe your son really blames you. He knows the blame is on him, but he doesn't want to be accountable for his behavior yet. You are an easy target. He's unhappy with himself and probably confused so he lashes out at you, who love him so much. I had to listen to so much venom from my daughter when she was using, but now we are close and she says she didn't mean the stuff she said to us when she was on drugs, and I think most difficult child's realize it is their faults, not ours. I also think your son will come back to you and has a good shot at cleaning up his act. I sure hope so. Sending hugs! [/QUOTE]
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New member - Just found out 15 y/o difficult child using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes
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