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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 647974" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm a dog lover and have a "Crazy Dog Lady" tee-shirt. Love your dog!!!! A pug, is it? Yes, other life does exist. My two babies are in my avatar. I love them so much. They give so much comfort.</p><p></p><p>Listen to a sad story. All three of my youngest kids were molested, the younger two badly by a child we adopted who fooled adults into thinking he was a good kid and terrified the young ones to the point they didn't tell until we kicked his sorry buttocks out the door (no, I don't feel guilty. No, I'm not sorry). Maybe because they saw justice, as the county did try him in a court of law for sexual assault and he was found guilty and maybe because of all the help they got, both are grown up now and such nice kids. No drugs. They don't even drink. Daughter has tons of friends and from her FB you can just see how everyone loves her. Son is on autism spectrum yet he is very special, high functioning, one of the nincest kids you'll ever meet.</p><p></p><p>My oldest daughter was assaulted at a young age outside of the house and never told us until she was fourteen, then refused help. She used drugs and I felt sick that about it...terrified she'd kill herself. But she too straightened out and worked out the abuse in her own way and is a very well adjusted woman and mother now. No drugs. She even quit the cigarettes that all of our drug abusing kids seem to love. The better to kill me, my dear...something like that with the ciggies.</p><p></p><p>Your son is not an honest person. Abuse is one manipulative thing to claim to get you to fall into "mommy" mode again so if it were me I wouldn't even know if I believed it. My daughter's advice to moms of drug users, from her experience, is very firm: "Never trust a drug addict. They lie." She was a great liar when she used drugs. She could lie while looking me straight in the eyes and crying real tears. I would hold up the cigarettes I found in her purse (in our house, cigarettes are banned and considered a drug...we just hate them). This was after we knew she was also using pot.</p><p></p><p>Me: Look what I found in your purse. I guess you're not spending your money the right way. That's the end of your allowance.</p><p></p><p>Her: (staring straight at me, tears falling) I'm just holding it for a FRIEND!</p><p></p><p>I swear this is a universal difficult child thing to say. She said it often, whenever she was caught with something she couldn't have. It always belonged to somebody else that she was holding it for. Finally we told her, if so, she was still accountable as we don't allow illegal stuff in our house. What a joke. She's lucky she never saw jail. She was on parole twice, but as a minor and as a very pretty petite little girl (we adopted her from Korea and think of a stereotype China doll), she used to get away with a lot more than her male cohorts and her less attractive friends.</p><p></p><p>It didn't work with us though.</p><p></p><p>At any rate, my reason for posting was to explain that on the 50% chance he was abused (and Tanya is right that kids don't tell...they are scared) that doesn't make his life ok, and he can get the same help 25% of the population needs. I believe it's 1 in 4 children who are abused, but 1 in 4 are not behaving like he is. by the way, very sad statistic</p><p></p><p>Stand strong. Get facetime support. Remember that your little boy doesn't exist anymore...he is a man. You are not his "mommy." You are his mother and your relationship should be grown up now.</p><p></p><p>Huggles for a peaceful weekend.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 647974, member: 1550"] I'm a dog lover and have a "Crazy Dog Lady" tee-shirt. Love your dog!!!! A pug, is it? Yes, other life does exist. My two babies are in my avatar. I love them so much. They give so much comfort. Listen to a sad story. All three of my youngest kids were molested, the younger two badly by a child we adopted who fooled adults into thinking he was a good kid and terrified the young ones to the point they didn't tell until we kicked his sorry buttocks out the door (no, I don't feel guilty. No, I'm not sorry). Maybe because they saw justice, as the county did try him in a court of law for sexual assault and he was found guilty and maybe because of all the help they got, both are grown up now and such nice kids. No drugs. They don't even drink. Daughter has tons of friends and from her FB you can just see how everyone loves her. Son is on autism spectrum yet he is very special, high functioning, one of the nincest kids you'll ever meet. My oldest daughter was assaulted at a young age outside of the house and never told us until she was fourteen, then refused help. She used drugs and I felt sick that about it...terrified she'd kill herself. But she too straightened out and worked out the abuse in her own way and is a very well adjusted woman and mother now. No drugs. She even quit the cigarettes that all of our drug abusing kids seem to love. The better to kill me, my dear...something like that with the ciggies. Your son is not an honest person. Abuse is one manipulative thing to claim to get you to fall into "mommy" mode again so if it were me I wouldn't even know if I believed it. My daughter's advice to moms of drug users, from her experience, is very firm: "Never trust a drug addict. They lie." She was a great liar when she used drugs. She could lie while looking me straight in the eyes and crying real tears. I would hold up the cigarettes I found in her purse (in our house, cigarettes are banned and considered a drug...we just hate them). This was after we knew she was also using pot. Me: Look what I found in your purse. I guess you're not spending your money the right way. That's the end of your allowance. Her: (staring straight at me, tears falling) I'm just holding it for a FRIEND! I swear this is a universal difficult child thing to say. She said it often, whenever she was caught with something she couldn't have. It always belonged to somebody else that she was holding it for. Finally we told her, if so, she was still accountable as we don't allow illegal stuff in our house. What a joke. She's lucky she never saw jail. She was on parole twice, but as a minor and as a very pretty petite little girl (we adopted her from Korea and think of a stereotype China doll), she used to get away with a lot more than her male cohorts and her less attractive friends. It didn't work with us though. At any rate, my reason for posting was to explain that on the 50% chance he was abused (and Tanya is right that kids don't tell...they are scared) that doesn't make his life ok, and he can get the same help 25% of the population needs. I believe it's 1 in 4 children who are abused, but 1 in 4 are not behaving like he is. by the way, very sad statistic Stand strong. Get facetime support. Remember that your little boy doesn't exist anymore...he is a man. You are not his "mommy." You are his mother and your relationship should be grown up now. Huggles for a peaceful weekend. [/QUOTE]
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