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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 666862" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am accepting that a huge part of the problem with my D C was my reaction to him. To his lack of direction and motivation. To his distress. To his unhappiness. To his disrespect.</p><p></p><p>All of it made me feel helpless. That I needed to do something.</p><p></p><p>I am seeing things differently now. I needed to have faith in my child and faith in myself. I needed to believe in us as a family.</p><p></p><p>All kids are different. Especially kids that have had different experiences. Now that I am stronger and calmer...my son is too. Now that I know I am not responsible, I am less afraid. He can be stronger, too.</p><p></p><p>In just the time you have been posting it seems that your son has made some good choices about school. He is at the age now when it is normal to have his own perspective and make his own decisions. I know I had a lot of problems with that. I should not have.</p><p></p><p>With each day that passes the solutions will be more and more in your son...and not in you as his parent.</p><p></p><p>It seems to me that you have been a very responsible and loving parent and that you have given your son the foundation he needs to launch in life. It might be fits and starts. He might not have a clear direction right away. It might not be how you envisioned it.</p><p></p><p>Part of our task, I think, is holding on to the belief that it will be OK. Holding in our hearts the knowing that we have raised our children well. Trusting that they will find their way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 666862, member: 18958"] I am accepting that a huge part of the problem with my D C was my reaction to him. To his lack of direction and motivation. To his distress. To his unhappiness. To his disrespect. All of it made me feel helpless. That I needed to do something. I am seeing things differently now. I needed to have faith in my child and faith in myself. I needed to believe in us as a family. All kids are different. Especially kids that have had different experiences. Now that I am stronger and calmer...my son is too. Now that I know I am not responsible, I am less afraid. He can be stronger, too. In just the time you have been posting it seems that your son has made some good choices about school. He is at the age now when it is normal to have his own perspective and make his own decisions. I know I had a lot of problems with that. I should not have. With each day that passes the solutions will be more and more in your son...and not in you as his parent. It seems to me that you have been a very responsible and loving parent and that you have given your son the foundation he needs to launch in life. It might be fits and starts. He might not have a clear direction right away. It might not be how you envisioned it. Part of our task, I think, is holding on to the belief that it will be OK. Holding in our hearts the knowing that we have raised our children well. Trusting that they will find their way. [/QUOTE]
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