New member welcome

[kkerda]

Hi,
I realize your post was many years ago, but as we just fostered 4 children, 2 years ago and the youngest one is my breaking point!!!!!!!
I don`t thinkg he`s quite as bad as your youngest, but I do believe he is incapable of care or concern of anyone but himself. He doesnt listen or hear me but he hears my husband when he speaks.
SORRY, but my main questions is.......HOW can you deal with this
you say you can deal with all of it, i DONT GET IT. I very often feel like sending him and ONLY him back to his social worker. The only problem is that i dont thinkg she has a clue about any of her children in care. I want to help but have a difficult time when he rEFUSES to listen to anything i say.

 

[tiredmommy]

Hello and welcome. I'm going to actually break your post off into it's own thread so that you get the help and support you need. It can be kind of quiet on the weekends but others will be along.

 

[TerryJ2]

Welcome, Kkerda.
We have never fostered, but we have adopted, one son, at birth.
Our problems are not identical to yours but I can certainly understand the cluelessness of so-call professionals, and the frustration. Let us know more about yourself, and create a profile if you can.
Many hugs.

P.S. I just downloaded the spell checker and tried to look up "cluelessness" but it keeps deleting my note. Let's see if it works this time.

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there. We did some foster parenting and adopting of one foster child. Do you know anything about attachment disorder? Most foster kids have that and this is why they do not listen...and they maybe never will. They do not attach well or at all to other people thus they do not think of anyone but themselves. This is due to having no security as an infant and child. No, loving them is not enough. Most of them are afraid of love and don't really want it. Are you considering adoption?

Please read about attachment disorder. I will start you out with a link. This is an excellent article. I suggest reading the entire article, top to the end. It explains why most foster children do not attach to us the way we would like them to. You may need to find a therapit who understands insecure attachment issues as they can be serious.

http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/915447-overview