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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 251057" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome to the site. Help is here.</p><p></p><p>From what I understand, 9 is too young really to say it's Conduct Disorder. It seems to me like you've been getting possibilities tossed at you but none of them are confirmed. In which case, don't assume the labels are all correct or concurrent - it will probably be narrowed down to just one, maybe two. There are kids here who have been given a BiPolar (BP) label only to have it eventually overturned and confirmed as Asperger's instead. I think there may be acouple of vice versa as well.</p><p></p><p>Our younger three all improved when started on ADHD medications. difficult child 3's autism manifestations improved on the medications, even though they shouldn't hve (depending on how people think they work).</p><p></p><p>We recommend "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There are also oter books. But what has worked for me (and I think for a lot of us) is recognising what makes the child tick, and trying to work from there. In general, the child wants to please us, wants approval. But they are also often driven by anxiety, by confusion over whayt is gonig on, and frustration sets in. A lot of the anger, shouting, screaming matches and disrespect often stem from confusion over the way they feel they have no control over what is happening to them and around them. If the child is possibly Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form then chances are, the usual social rules don't apply. Such kids don't pick up social skills by osmosis; simply being around "normal" people teaches nothing. Sometimes they can be set back, if they don't uderstand why people behave the way they do. We found that putting structure in place as well as careful supervision helped a lot. Also, we had to stop trying to control the child and instead help the child learn self-control. If you become the facilitator for the child and step back from trying to push, it helps. Also, learning to give time warnings and to plan ahead in setting up strategies helps a great deal. You learn to walk away from phrases like "Because I said so." All that will happen, is the child will learn form your example and use it back on you. So I learned to treat my son with respect, to model it for him, in order to help him learn to show respect for other people. He treats people as they treat him.</p><p></p><p>Read the book. I know you want to learn form people and not books, but this book really did help me learn a great deal. There is also some good discussion on this book in the Early Childhood forum.</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome. Do a sig for yourself when you can, it will make it easier for you to not have to repeat your details every time you post.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 251057, member: 1991"] Welcome to the site. Help is here. From what I understand, 9 is too young really to say it's Conduct Disorder. It seems to me like you've been getting possibilities tossed at you but none of them are confirmed. In which case, don't assume the labels are all correct or concurrent - it will probably be narrowed down to just one, maybe two. There are kids here who have been given a BiPolar (BP) label only to have it eventually overturned and confirmed as Asperger's instead. I think there may be acouple of vice versa as well. Our younger three all improved when started on ADHD medications. difficult child 3's autism manifestations improved on the medications, even though they shouldn't hve (depending on how people think they work). We recommend "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There are also oter books. But what has worked for me (and I think for a lot of us) is recognising what makes the child tick, and trying to work from there. In general, the child wants to please us, wants approval. But they are also often driven by anxiety, by confusion over whayt is gonig on, and frustration sets in. A lot of the anger, shouting, screaming matches and disrespect often stem from confusion over the way they feel they have no control over what is happening to them and around them. If the child is possibly Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form then chances are, the usual social rules don't apply. Such kids don't pick up social skills by osmosis; simply being around "normal" people teaches nothing. Sometimes they can be set back, if they don't uderstand why people behave the way they do. We found that putting structure in place as well as careful supervision helped a lot. Also, we had to stop trying to control the child and instead help the child learn self-control. If you become the facilitator for the child and step back from trying to push, it helps. Also, learning to give time warnings and to plan ahead in setting up strategies helps a great deal. You learn to walk away from phrases like "Because I said so." All that will happen, is the child will learn form your example and use it back on you. So I learned to treat my son with respect, to model it for him, in order to help him learn to show respect for other people. He treats people as they treat him. Read the book. I know you want to learn form people and not books, but this book really did help me learn a great deal. There is also some good discussion on this book in the Early Childhood forum. Again, welcome. Do a sig for yourself when you can, it will make it easier for you to not have to repeat your details every time you post. Marg [/QUOTE]
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