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new, need to learn about guardianship, coping skills
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 577978" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Nerfherder and welcome.</p><p></p><p>First off, you never know how your daughter may contribute to society. My oldest (aka Boo) is severely daughter and will never have a job, but I gotta tell you, his smile and laughter and sense of humor and tolerance adds a whole boatload to my life, and society too (when "society" isn't totally freaked out by his nonverbal but outgoing personality, spastic movements, and bright yellow wheelchair <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ). It's all relative. </p><p></p><p>We filed for guardianship the month before he turned 18. It turned out to be a surprisingly simple process. Went to county courthouse to obtain necessary papers and get court date, schlepped over to county sheriff's office so Boo could be officially "served" - a process he thought was entirely hilarious - and then took the papers to his MD to fill out, certifying that he is "permanently disabled." Showed up on our court date, judge took one look at yellow wheelchair, and voila - we're his guardians. No snags, no problems. We were given another court date 1 year later, so that we were "supervised," but that judge just quizzed me on if he'd always lived at home, yada yada yada, and then she said we were good and we don't have to go back.</p><p></p><p>So basically, give the daughter diagnoses, it should not be a problem especially if your daughter doesn't contest it (not sure from your post how cooperative she might be about it, but it sounds as if she would not be able to handle her own finances/apartment/life without support - right?). If she does contest it... not sure what happens there. I did find the clerk at our county courthouse to be very helpful, so that might be a resource for you. Also, check online - our county now has all the forms available there, along with instructions.</p><p></p><p>Word of warning - my county didn't take checks, LOL. I drove all over creation trying to find a branch of my bank to get cash to pay for court costs (less than $100) and for the sheriff to serve him (I think about $75?). Definitely check about costs before you head out. </p><p></p><p>As far as gov't funding, I totally hear you there. I have yet to put Boo on SSI, and he's 24. We have health insurance for him through husband (for 2 more years anyway) and to me it has always seemed intrinsically wrong to get $$ just because he has a disability. We take care of our own, as long as we can anyway. That story may change in 2 years but for now, we just continue on as we have been. Our state offers zero resources for adults with- daughter anyway, so getting him on SSI or Medicaid wouldn't improve the quality of his life. No respite, no in-home services, no adult programming, nada, so no reason to apply.</p><p></p><p>Don't stress about the guardianship stuff - really. You absolutely must have it in order to continue to be an effective advocate for your daughter, and it was a shockingly painless process (for us, anyway).</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 577978, member: 8"] Hi Nerfherder and welcome. First off, you never know how your daughter may contribute to society. My oldest (aka Boo) is severely daughter and will never have a job, but I gotta tell you, his smile and laughter and sense of humor and tolerance adds a whole boatload to my life, and society too (when "society" isn't totally freaked out by his nonverbal but outgoing personality, spastic movements, and bright yellow wheelchair :winking: ). It's all relative. We filed for guardianship the month before he turned 18. It turned out to be a surprisingly simple process. Went to county courthouse to obtain necessary papers and get court date, schlepped over to county sheriff's office so Boo could be officially "served" - a process he thought was entirely hilarious - and then took the papers to his MD to fill out, certifying that he is "permanently disabled." Showed up on our court date, judge took one look at yellow wheelchair, and voila - we're his guardians. No snags, no problems. We were given another court date 1 year later, so that we were "supervised," but that judge just quizzed me on if he'd always lived at home, yada yada yada, and then she said we were good and we don't have to go back. So basically, give the daughter diagnoses, it should not be a problem especially if your daughter doesn't contest it (not sure from your post how cooperative she might be about it, but it sounds as if she would not be able to handle her own finances/apartment/life without support - right?). If she does contest it... not sure what happens there. I did find the clerk at our county courthouse to be very helpful, so that might be a resource for you. Also, check online - our county now has all the forms available there, along with instructions. Word of warning - my county didn't take checks, LOL. I drove all over creation trying to find a branch of my bank to get cash to pay for court costs (less than $100) and for the sheriff to serve him (I think about $75?). Definitely check about costs before you head out. As far as gov't funding, I totally hear you there. I have yet to put Boo on SSI, and he's 24. We have health insurance for him through husband (for 2 more years anyway) and to me it has always seemed intrinsically wrong to get $$ just because he has a disability. We take care of our own, as long as we can anyway. That story may change in 2 years but for now, we just continue on as we have been. Our state offers zero resources for adults with- daughter anyway, so getting him on SSI or Medicaid wouldn't improve the quality of his life. No respite, no in-home services, no adult programming, nada, so no reason to apply. Don't stress about the guardianship stuff - really. You absolutely must have it in order to continue to be an effective advocate for your daughter, and it was a shockingly painless process (for us, anyway). Again, welcome! [/QUOTE]
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