"the reason ignoring does not work is because the very act of ignoring is PAYING ATTENTION to a behavior."
Bingo. Not to mention, the behavior escalates until I have no choice but to intervene. I've tried to get T to use his words, but he doesn't understand the concept. He can tell me that he's mad (no, really? I had no idea!) but if I ask him why, he'll be mad for a totally unrelated and off-the-wall reason.
I would suggest you shop around for a different therapist if possible becasue this one sounds out of his/her league.
Agreed. We've seen Kevin twice now, and while he's a nice guy, I don't think he has what it takes to get through to T.
the only diagnoses he has are ODD and ADHD. Other than that, I'm flying blind. I psychiatrist gave him the ODD diagnosis; the pediatrician gave him the ADHD diagnosis. We were slated for a pediatric developmental specialist at the Children's Hospital nearby. It was supposed to be 8 hours of testing and observation wtih several different doctors. It got canceled because two of the doctors quit, and they have a wait list 8 months long while they look for new doctors to fill the spaces. We FINALLY got the Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation done about 3 weeks ago. Medicaid just approved his Occupational Therapist (OT), so we'll go once a week. We're working on fine motor skills, mostly. He can't color properly or even hold a pencil without gripping it with his fist. T was slow to speak clearly... he was about 3 before he was using words clearly and speaking in sentences. T's general personality is GO GO GOGOGOGOGOGOGO 100% all day long. He was on Adderall, we're trying Intuniv now because it's supposed to target the aggressive s/s of ADHD. It's.... better than the Adderall. He's not on the full dosage yet, as we're still tapering him up, but I've seen some improvement.
How is his eating? is he picky, does he shove food in? does he only like certain textures or smells. Does he avoid textures or smells? is he fussy about clothes? does he like to be dirty and doesnt even notice....or does he avoid all dirt and anything touching his hands, feet etc?
T has preferences of food, but if they're abnormal, I don't know. He loves carbs, soup (chicken noodle- homemade is best), and chicken. It's common for him to ask for chicken and rice AND potatoes for dinner. If it looks weird, he hasn't had it in a while, or if it's brand new, forget it. He's not going to eat it without a fight. In the house, we have no thank you bites, and typically when he takes one, gagging is involved. After the bite, 90% of the time he'll say he likes it and might eat 50% of it. But gagging, always gagging with new foods. If the food is messy, he hates to touch it. He eats cupcakes with his hands behind his back.
Clothes... he has a pair of pajamas that has a split seam. No big deal, I gotta find a needle and thread. It's not big and the jammies would have done their job. He refused to wear them, point blank. I have a Pirates of the Caribbean blanket that has a hole in it because it's like 10 years old. He refuses to use it because of the hole.
How does he do with other kds? How is his language development, imaginative play (does he do fantasy play or just repetitive play or lining things up etc.)
I haven't really seen T interact with other kids, I'm sorry to say. I'm a single mom in school and I work approx 100 hours a week as a nurse. I know he has one or two kids he's fond of in day care. Language seems appropriate at this time. It used to be delayed but I think he caught up pretty well. He does a fair bit of imaginitive play.... Woody is rescued by Spiderman by his pull string, most recently. He really likes his train sets. Assemble, play, disassemble, reassemble. My daughter is really into imaginitive play right now. She plays mommy with her dolls. T never did anything remotely like that.
Does he have things that he is obsessed about like trains, or balls, or cars/wheels, or certain tv characters and shows that he talks about all of the time?
Hmmm. T has rotating obsessions. Loves trains, talks about them all the time. Recently afraid of train *sounds* though, but only at our new house. Even MSW #2 is perplexed by this. T really loves Nick Jr, which is fine because it's the only channel I've found that doesn't have character violence of any kind. He prefers Ni Hao Ki-Lan, Dino Dan, and Fresh Beat Band. Yo Gabba Gabba can hold his attention as long as there is crazy movements or dancing to be done.
Does he go from happy to sad easily? how does he do with transitions from one thing to another? Do you have an mental health issues in your family?
Mood swings, yes, sometimes. Depends on the situation, and level of fatigue. Tonight, T was very tired, got upset about something, and had a total meltdown in 2 seconds flat. Transitions from one activity to another tend to be sudden. He'll play with his trains forever until suddenly, he doesn't want to even look at the trains anymore. Mental health... I suffer from depression and anxiety. His father (not around, not interested) is a drug addict... and I suspect T takes after him with his behaviors. He reminds me so much of his father, it's scary.
did he have any upsets early on (premature birth, reflux that was not able to be treated well or any other pain??? colic??) Did you get ill during his first three years for any reason that maybe interrupted his bonding ????
I have a hard time with physical affection. I can't stand to be touched unless it's by certain people. My own mother didn't hug or touch me often unless i was getting punished. I breastfed T, but in hindsight, I think I should have supplemented with formula because I don't think his nutrition was good enough until he started table foods. I don't think I let him feed long enough, but at the same time, my nutrition was poor enough that I didn't produce enough milk. We co-slept for almost 2 years. He still likes sleeping in my bed, but he sleeps on the opposite side of the bed. He seems to like being near me.
is he in preschool?? how is that going?
No preschool yet. School corp here has preschool all day for kids 4 or older by Aug. 1. He was 4 Aug 15th and they wouldn't make an exeption. We're applying for next year provided we can get his behaviors under control. Only other preschool option is 2 hours a day, 2 days a week and $60 a week. That's a lot of money for me and is not an option.
4. Did he have chaos or separation from caregivers in his very early years? What are the family dynamics? Who does he live with? Any bio. father there? Siblings? Others?
I was a stay at home mom until he was approx 15 months, then I went back to school for nursing. We lived with my Dad and his wife at the time. I was kicked out when I got pregnant with Piper. He was yelled at a lot at my dad's house because he would try to touch things that my step mother didn't want touched. He lives with me (his mother) and his younger sister P, who's two. I yell at him a lot too.
Bio father isn't in the picture, hasn't been around for approx 4 years.