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New Parent to ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 480486" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hello Yvette and welcome. </p><p>The educational psychologist you saw diagnosed a lot of things. Does the PTSD make sense to you? Did something happen to your son or perhaps to you as a family? And the bi-polar - others will be far more familiar with this, but is it normal to diagnose that after just one meeting?</p><p>In any event, whatever the diagnoses, life with your son is difficult at the moment. And he is hitting adolescence, which of course makes it all twice as intense. I would recommend you read Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child", which is a good introduction to a different way of being with and seeing these children that makes life less conflictual and more manageable. You have to find a different way to approach disagreements than through open conflict. </p><p>My son would probably be called ODD if one wanted to pursue such a diagnosis for him - I can certainly diagnose him that at times, let alone a psychiatrist! - and I've had to learn how to avoid the "red zone" of conflict as much as possible, because these kids are ever-ready for a fight. This obviously doesn't mean giving in to what the child wants but more about being willing to reach agreement through negotiation and discussion of various solutions rather than expecting that the child will just do what you ask... this mostly doesn't happen, right? My son can be surprisingly co-operative and mature if I explain things and appeal to his better nature. I feel it's also about avoiding negative cycles where the child's defiance increases our hostility and anger, which increases their defiance, and on and on. </p><p>It kind of means throwing everything out and starting again from zero, I think. The old ways don't work... so what does? </p><p>Just a couple of ideas. I know how hard it is or can be, but I think there is some hope and some light at the end of the tunnel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 480486, member: 11227"] Hello Yvette and welcome. The educational psychologist you saw diagnosed a lot of things. Does the PTSD make sense to you? Did something happen to your son or perhaps to you as a family? And the bi-polar - others will be far more familiar with this, but is it normal to diagnose that after just one meeting? In any event, whatever the diagnoses, life with your son is difficult at the moment. And he is hitting adolescence, which of course makes it all twice as intense. I would recommend you read Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child", which is a good introduction to a different way of being with and seeing these children that makes life less conflictual and more manageable. You have to find a different way to approach disagreements than through open conflict. My son would probably be called ODD if one wanted to pursue such a diagnosis for him - I can certainly diagnose him that at times, let alone a psychiatrist! - and I've had to learn how to avoid the "red zone" of conflict as much as possible, because these kids are ever-ready for a fight. This obviously doesn't mean giving in to what the child wants but more about being willing to reach agreement through negotiation and discussion of various solutions rather than expecting that the child will just do what you ask... this mostly doesn't happen, right? My son can be surprisingly co-operative and mature if I explain things and appeal to his better nature. I feel it's also about avoiding negative cycles where the child's defiance increases our hostility and anger, which increases their defiance, and on and on. It kind of means throwing everything out and starting again from zero, I think. The old ways don't work... so what does? Just a couple of ideas. I know how hard it is or can be, but I think there is some hope and some light at the end of the tunnel. [/QUOTE]
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