New Rap boy issues

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Arttillygirl, May 9, 2007.

  1. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    Well really its the same old problems. I told him he couldn't download a program which lets you get "bit torrents" supposedly legally. So he can download any music, movie, software, etc. for free. I said no knowing he has no judgement and there is porn on there. He said I can look at his history and he can even download photoshop for me or Hannah Montana for his sister. Well I was immediately suspicious when he mentioned his sister, like he cares a rip for her.

    Anyway I found he downloaded it and got it to work somehow for his computer. Now he has the FOULEST most MURDEROUS music on his itunes. I deleted it and the program. I am considering stopping the internet altogether. I really hate to have a blowup a week before finals.

    I found some more writings that HE TOOK TO SCHOOL! about killing the headmasters son in graphic detail. I took it out. If they had seen it, he'd be taken to jail and expelled.

    I got no reply as far as a game plan from our psychologist so he's no help $1k later.

    Any suggestions?
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Does he seem worse since starting Zoloft? How long has he been on it? How much is he taking?
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I know I've read about your son before but I don't remember if you said the computer was his or a family one. Either way, I would make sure that it's in an area of the house that's out in the open and also set it so that you need a password to access the internet. (I know there is a way to do this but don't ask me how! lol) Parental controls are always an option also. Our difficult child isn't into the internet at home so it isn't a huge issue with us. When he has gotten on though, we've got it set so that there are certain places he can go to on his own and the rest have to have a password entered by us to allow him to view a particular site. Of course since he disassembled our desk top computer this hasn't been an issue at all. :hammer: husband and I now only use the lap top which we keep locked in our room. He does have a computer in his room but there is no internet access to it and he usually only plays (approved) games or movies on it.

    As for the writings.....I guess the only thought I have on that is to keep it and show it to his psychiatrist/therapist. Obviously, we can't control what other people think but is it maybe an issue of not realizing how serious it would be if others saw these writings? And if it is things he really IS considering, then the docs would, of course, need to know.

    Another thought on the computer. If the parental controls/password idea isn't an option, maybe you could take part of the computer out so that it doesn't work until YOU put it back and are there to monitor. What type of connection do you have? Dial up or DSL? We have DSL and if that was a problem for us, we would probably just unhook the DSL cord and lock it up. Then at least the computer would work if it needed to be used to write a paper or other homework things.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Have you taken the writings you found to his psychiatrist? If you cant get an emergency appointment based on those I think I would be tempted to take him to the ER and have him involuntarily committed right now.

    I have no idea why he is doing this or what he thinks he is getting out of it but it has to stop. He is old enough to know that writing like that and taking it to school is not a good idea. I personally think he is waving a huge red flag in front of everyone screaming that he needs intensive help...inpatient help...and he doesnt know how to ask for it appropriately.

    I have a theory about music but its only mine. I think we drift towards certain types depending on what is going on in our lives and how we are feeling. Not all people who listen to "dark rap" loud music are depressed or suicidle but when you combine it with your sons other attention grabbing flags...its cause for concern. Not that I think you can completely isolate him from this music, you cant. Its out there and he will find it because it represents something to him. Its where "he" is right now. His taste may change with treatment.

    Of course, this is just my opinion but I would be banging on doors to get him inpatient.
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Remove all access to the computer and the internet. You can password protect any computer so that unless you want him to log on he can't! You have to take his writings to someone---it scares me that he knows you are monitoring him and he continues his behavior---writing about killing someone is not a good sign!
  6. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    I agree with all of you.
    I just want him to get through the next 2 weeks of finals and then it is a visit to the psychiatric hospital for him.

    I have taken off the itunes in his room-he's going to be furious. All the other computers are password only but I think he will be grounded for disobeying me so I won't have to even deal with it. Wish me luck there.
    He has to meet with the juvenille officer next Monday and I am debating on letting her see the letter. They don't even know he's depressed, husband did the first visit. I don't know what they will do though.

    He's taking 100mg daily now of Zoloft. I thought we were getting better. He went to the movies and spent the night with- a friend we wouldn't let him be with overnight before (where he discovered this computer site for free downloads). His teachers are reporting improvement.

    I think they are going to have to committ me when this school year's over, lol.
  7. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I have to agree completely with Janet - get him to a hospital now. Forget finals, forget anything else. He is *continuing* to put in writing very unsafe thoughts in spite of it have been addressed previously.

    Also, I'd remove computer access period. He refuses to abide by your guidelines. They are *your* guidelines that you have the right to put in place. Be done with- the aggravation of the internet. in my humble opinion.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree to get him help NOW. It could be the Zoloft (it can cause everything from rage to psychosis). It had a terrible effect on ME and I'm an adult. But if he says one word at school about harming anyone or, worse, tries to, there is no going back. I wouldn't risk it. He is very unstable. He can make up the finals when he's more stable, and probably do a better job. He sounds more than just depressed to me--he is having violent thoughts. That isn't really a part of depression. I have lots of depression experience--if you feel violent at all it is usually suicidal ideation which also can't be ruled out. It is unusual to feel violent towards others with depression alone. Zoloft can also cause suicidal thinking in kids under 18 and even older. Please get him help. Now. Hugs.
  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    It cannot be said enough.

    Not long after the VTech massacre, a boy in a suburban school here near Chicago was removed from school for questionable writings. They just ain't playing anymore. They HAVE to treat these thing seriously.

    Finals can be made up.

    Yes, they can. Get him help now. Hugs and prayers.
  10. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #333399"> ICAM with-the others. finals are small potatoes at this point. your son needs intervention IMMEDAIATELY!

    he's very high risk right now. would you be able to live with-yourself is he hurts someone in the next two weeks knowing what you know about his instability? his very violent thought? i wouldn't risk it.

    call his psychiatrist. FAX his writings to him. get him hospitalized. don't tak no for an answer.

    </span> </span> </span>