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New to board-Daughter ADHD with-ODD???
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 117785" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I almost forgot:</p><p></p><p>"I have finally told her if she wants to be really angry about life and was she percieves as being abandoned, she should be angry at biomom and not me. Amazingly enough, I haven't heard biomom referred to since."</p><p></p><p>We took our daughter to an attachment therapist for a while. While I don't advocate this because it is very expensive and very intense and we did not buy into it totally, she was the only one who made difficult child face the fact that she never adopted us like we adopted her. She outright told her that if we were going to abandon her we would have done so years ago because of all the cr*p she put us through, so if she should be mad at anyone it should be her birthmother. She stopped talking about birthmother after that.</p><p></p><p>About six months ago we were having some issues (as you say always me and her) and I finally told her that her birthmom abused alcohol and some drugs and heaven knows what she did during the pregnancy, that she never finished high school, was very overweight, did not take care of her health, smoked, drank, was married and divorced twice and never had any other children and if that is the life that she wanted to live she was welcome to go find it. It was a breakthrough of sorts. While it hurt her to hear it and I did find out she told several of her friends how upset she was to find out the truth about bm, she all of a sudden decided living here perhaps wasn't as bad as she thought, and that her bm was not a fairy godmother who was waiting in a palace with a houseful of siblings ready to take her in. I also told her that I had written hew two years ago when difficult child had to go to detention in hopes that she could write difficult child a letter and explain some of the mistakes she made and help difficult child. She agreed to write it and we never heard from her. So much for her concern.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 117785, member: 59"] I almost forgot: "I have finally told her if she wants to be really angry about life and was she percieves as being abandoned, she should be angry at biomom and not me. Amazingly enough, I haven't heard biomom referred to since." We took our daughter to an attachment therapist for a while. While I don't advocate this because it is very expensive and very intense and we did not buy into it totally, she was the only one who made difficult child face the fact that she never adopted us like we adopted her. She outright told her that if we were going to abandon her we would have done so years ago because of all the cr*p she put us through, so if she should be mad at anyone it should be her birthmother. She stopped talking about birthmother after that. About six months ago we were having some issues (as you say always me and her) and I finally told her that her birthmom abused alcohol and some drugs and heaven knows what she did during the pregnancy, that she never finished high school, was very overweight, did not take care of her health, smoked, drank, was married and divorced twice and never had any other children and if that is the life that she wanted to live she was welcome to go find it. It was a breakthrough of sorts. While it hurt her to hear it and I did find out she told several of her friends how upset she was to find out the truth about bm, she all of a sudden decided living here perhaps wasn't as bad as she thought, and that her bm was not a fairy godmother who was waiting in a palace with a houseful of siblings ready to take her in. I also told her that I had written hew two years ago when difficult child had to go to detention in hopes that she could write difficult child a letter and explain some of the mistakes she made and help difficult child. She agreed to write it and we never heard from her. So much for her concern. [/QUOTE]
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