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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 96499" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I know teachers are judged, however this is a board for parents. I didn't mean to offend, but we as parents have heard how it's our faults ALL THE TIME and I thought you'd appreciate feedback on how it could be from the other side. After all, you asked for our help. in my opinion it's not helpful to blame the parents. You simply don't know what is going on at home. You don't know what has or hasn't been tried. You don't know how insane the parents are going. Think YOU'RE going insane by this kid? What if he was YOUR kid? And if you think, "Well, it would never be MY kid" (like most of us thought before we had THAT kid) most of our kids have disorders and are immune to normal discipline. And we get helpful (ahem) advice from everyone about how we should make our kids "behave." I have a son on the autism spectrum. He is obvriously very different. I swear that wonderful teachers GAVE HIM A LIFE. I love some teachers. They helped him. They didn't really know what was wrong with him, nor did the professionals we spent nine years running to, trying to figure him out. But they helped him. Now maybe we helped too by WANTING him in Special Education so that he could get focused help (and it worked). However, he was more an academic problem with quirky behavior. You're talking about a child who is out of control and my compassion is with the parents first. If they are fighting the school, it could be because they feel something other than Special Education is best for him. It's hard for you, yes, but it's harder for them. Does this child have an IEP? An aide? If I were talking to the parents, I'd tell them to take him for a neuropsychologist evaluation, but this is a touchy situation for you. Many parents are so fed up that another suggestion will make them explode, and you really can't do much. My guess is the child will eventually be removed from regular education anyways. Until then, try to see what works best. I'm not convinced that this child has total control over what he does. ODD alone is not really a full diagnosis...in most cases there is something else causing the ODD behavior. Using traditional discipline doesn't normally work for our kids. So if you think the parents are "soft" on the child or "give in" to him, I am sure they do sometimes--we get so frustrated that we ALL do. I'm sure they also have tried being strict and consistent. When nothing works, you start to pull your hair out of your head. Also, parents can get in "mother/daddy bear mode" when teachers talk about how disruptive their kids are. I know I've taken on a few teachers who tried to tell me why my son wasn't learning the way he should. "Have you thought about ADHD?" Duh. I thought about ADHD, ODD, ABCDEFG...and didn't need a teacher asking me to consider something we were working on. Hopefully, he will get a new, more intensive evaluation soon (and, no offense, but not with the school district). The right diagnosis. leads to the right treatment and can make a world of difference for our kids. </p><p>Again, don't mean to offend. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 96499, member: 1550"] I know teachers are judged, however this is a board for parents. I didn't mean to offend, but we as parents have heard how it's our faults ALL THE TIME and I thought you'd appreciate feedback on how it could be from the other side. After all, you asked for our help. in my opinion it's not helpful to blame the parents. You simply don't know what is going on at home. You don't know what has or hasn't been tried. You don't know how insane the parents are going. Think YOU'RE going insane by this kid? What if he was YOUR kid? And if you think, "Well, it would never be MY kid" (like most of us thought before we had THAT kid) most of our kids have disorders and are immune to normal discipline. And we get helpful (ahem) advice from everyone about how we should make our kids "behave." I have a son on the autism spectrum. He is obvriously very different. I swear that wonderful teachers GAVE HIM A LIFE. I love some teachers. They helped him. They didn't really know what was wrong with him, nor did the professionals we spent nine years running to, trying to figure him out. But they helped him. Now maybe we helped too by WANTING him in Special Education so that he could get focused help (and it worked). However, he was more an academic problem with quirky behavior. You're talking about a child who is out of control and my compassion is with the parents first. If they are fighting the school, it could be because they feel something other than Special Education is best for him. It's hard for you, yes, but it's harder for them. Does this child have an IEP? An aide? If I were talking to the parents, I'd tell them to take him for a neuropsychologist evaluation, but this is a touchy situation for you. Many parents are so fed up that another suggestion will make them explode, and you really can't do much. My guess is the child will eventually be removed from regular education anyways. Until then, try to see what works best. I'm not convinced that this child has total control over what he does. ODD alone is not really a full diagnosis...in most cases there is something else causing the ODD behavior. Using traditional discipline doesn't normally work for our kids. So if you think the parents are "soft" on the child or "give in" to him, I am sure they do sometimes--we get so frustrated that we ALL do. I'm sure they also have tried being strict and consistent. When nothing works, you start to pull your hair out of your head. Also, parents can get in "mother/daddy bear mode" when teachers talk about how disruptive their kids are. I know I've taken on a few teachers who tried to tell me why my son wasn't learning the way he should. "Have you thought about ADHD?" Duh. I thought about ADHD, ODD, ABCDEFG...and didn't need a teacher asking me to consider something we were working on. Hopefully, he will get a new, more intensive evaluation soon (and, no offense, but not with the school district). The right diagnosis. leads to the right treatment and can make a world of difference for our kids. Again, don't mean to offend. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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