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<blockquote data-quote="Karenvm" data-source="post: 573077" data-attributes="member: 15766"><p>Thank you!</p><p>There are many people he respects (my sister, for example), but he's not honest with them at all! He doesn't even ever want anyone to know about his "issues" (meanwhile, I talk to my sister ALL THE TIME about him, and she is a huge help to me!). </p><p></p><p>There is a place in Long Island (where I grew up) called Hope House. It is run by the most wonderful, dedicated priest. It's not a "religious place", but it's a place that he started for young men who were struggling with either drugs, issues that got them "kicked out" of their houses, etc. It really is an amazing place. I called them a month ago, and they were willing to accept my son, pending an "evaluation" that we could do whenever we were ready. Well, I am ready, and called again this week. We are scheduled for his evaluation (which is an overnight stay) on 1/23. Of course, he is telling me he doesn't want to go. The thing is, he does have to WANT to be there- they won't keep him against his will. I am just hoping that when he goes for the evaluation, he will realize how bad it is, and how he needs this. I need this! I feel like a prisoner in my own house! I took away his phone/ipod the other day when I caught him at home skipping school. Today I realized that he must have taken it it right out of my purse (of course, he first denied it), and now refuses to give it back. He's just totally defiant- says no, I'm not giving it to you. He's a lot bigger than me, so I can't physically take it from him (and my husband is away until tomorrow night on business). That's the stuff that burns me! He just doesn't care about ANYTHING we say! He just does what HE wants. I sleep with my purse, my car keys, etc. in my room because I don't trust that he won't take something! I feel like I have no control at all. </p><p>He told me today that he'd like to see me "kick him out of the house"... said he'd call the police and they would mandate that I take him in (probably true, unfortunately, because he's 17). It's like we are constantly fighting for the "upper hand", and I feel I am always losing. </p><p>As far as therapy, he has both a psychologist who he sees weekly, as well as a psychiatrist who specializes in substance abuse. Has been in therapy for almost two years- nothing has changed. </p><p>I am just so worried that the day we have his evaluation, he is going to refuse to go, and I'm not sure what we can do to physically force him into the car! It's a 3 hour drive (though most of my family lives in the area of the Hope House, so lots of support for him there when he has free time) from our house- not going to be a fun ride!</p><p>I swing back and forth being SO mad at him (like now), to being so sad, and trying to re-live in my head all of the things I might have done wrong raising him! </p><p></p><p>Thank you again for your input. It really does help to know I am not the only one. </p><p></p><p>Karen</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Karenvm, post: 573077, member: 15766"] Thank you! There are many people he respects (my sister, for example), but he's not honest with them at all! He doesn't even ever want anyone to know about his "issues" (meanwhile, I talk to my sister ALL THE TIME about him, and she is a huge help to me!). There is a place in Long Island (where I grew up) called Hope House. It is run by the most wonderful, dedicated priest. It's not a "religious place", but it's a place that he started for young men who were struggling with either drugs, issues that got them "kicked out" of their houses, etc. It really is an amazing place. I called them a month ago, and they were willing to accept my son, pending an "evaluation" that we could do whenever we were ready. Well, I am ready, and called again this week. We are scheduled for his evaluation (which is an overnight stay) on 1/23. Of course, he is telling me he doesn't want to go. The thing is, he does have to WANT to be there- they won't keep him against his will. I am just hoping that when he goes for the evaluation, he will realize how bad it is, and how he needs this. I need this! I feel like a prisoner in my own house! I took away his phone/ipod the other day when I caught him at home skipping school. Today I realized that he must have taken it it right out of my purse (of course, he first denied it), and now refuses to give it back. He's just totally defiant- says no, I'm not giving it to you. He's a lot bigger than me, so I can't physically take it from him (and my husband is away until tomorrow night on business). That's the stuff that burns me! He just doesn't care about ANYTHING we say! He just does what HE wants. I sleep with my purse, my car keys, etc. in my room because I don't trust that he won't take something! I feel like I have no control at all. He told me today that he'd like to see me "kick him out of the house"... said he'd call the police and they would mandate that I take him in (probably true, unfortunately, because he's 17). It's like we are constantly fighting for the "upper hand", and I feel I am always losing. As far as therapy, he has both a psychologist who he sees weekly, as well as a psychiatrist who specializes in substance abuse. Has been in therapy for almost two years- nothing has changed. I am just so worried that the day we have his evaluation, he is going to refuse to go, and I'm not sure what we can do to physically force him into the car! It's a 3 hour drive (though most of my family lives in the area of the Hope House, so lots of support for him there when he has free time) from our house- not going to be a fun ride! I swing back and forth being SO mad at him (like now), to being so sad, and trying to re-live in my head all of the things I might have done wrong raising him! Thank you again for your input. It really does help to know I am not the only one. Karen [/QUOTE]
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