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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 573192" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi and welcome,</p><p>Just want to say how sorry I am that you're going through this. Many of us on this forum have been through this and are currently going through this as well.</p><p>in my opinion, so much of what these kids your son's age are going through have to do with what I call "reality avoidance." They're smart, but they rabidly avoid dealing with anything that makes them feel unpleasant: growing up, anxiety, self reliance, self consciousness, fear, abandonment, failure, etc. - you name it. So escaping into this world and protecting it at all costs is their priority.</p><p>I think the place in LI sounds good. Can your sister convince him? I know he will see it as a betrayal of confidence by you, and it may blow up in your face, but prepare for that. He doesn't want to be thrown out at 18, believe me. But it's coming to that point. Could you have a guidance counselor at school speak with him? Bring him to a family therapy session? He is a minor and you are responsible and you're doing all you can. Getting to the root of this issue is so critical - this is just a symptom. Unfortunately, 17 y/o boys do not like to talk about their "feelings". Sigh. I feel for you and know what you're going through.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 573192, member: 13882"] Hi and welcome, Just want to say how sorry I am that you're going through this. Many of us on this forum have been through this and are currently going through this as well. in my opinion, so much of what these kids your son's age are going through have to do with what I call "reality avoidance." They're smart, but they rabidly avoid dealing with anything that makes them feel unpleasant: growing up, anxiety, self reliance, self consciousness, fear, abandonment, failure, etc. - you name it. So escaping into this world and protecting it at all costs is their priority. I think the place in LI sounds good. Can your sister convince him? I know he will see it as a betrayal of confidence by you, and it may blow up in your face, but prepare for that. He doesn't want to be thrown out at 18, believe me. But it's coming to that point. Could you have a guidance counselor at school speak with him? Bring him to a family therapy session? He is a minor and you are responsible and you're doing all you can. Getting to the root of this issue is so critical - this is just a symptom. Unfortunately, 17 y/o boys do not like to talk about their "feelings". Sigh. I feel for you and know what you're going through. [/QUOTE]
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