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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 200476" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome. I also strongly urge you to read the book recommended, "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. If you want a quick preview, go over to Early Childhood and read up on how they suggest applying the book to younger children. While that is not going to be appropriate since your son is 14, you will still get a lot of clues on how the book works. The strategies in it are very helpful especially for a kid you've been finding a challenge (and who challenges authority) but it can also be used for PCs. We also found it to be much easier to use, certainly far easier than the constant struggle and the fighting.</p><p></p><p>It is something you can do, even if diagnosis is still uncertain or varied.</p><p></p><p>When we are all trying to work with our children it is a struggle. Sometimes as parents we look for the solution, we want to find someone who can help; who has the right pill or the perfect therapy. And while all help is welcome, sometimes there is no fix available; we have to use anything and everything we can. So while looking for the pill or the therapy, we can still apply our parental instincts and lateral thinking, and put in place as much as we can. We then have a better idea of what needs to be fixed still - what is left after we've done everything else (including things we simply hadn't known about before).</p><p></p><p>And never forget - YOU are the parents, you have the best knowledge of all, of your son. Trust yourselves, have faith in yourselves. Also recognise that somewhere inside your son is a good kid who really wants to do well but who sometimes feels overwhelmed and despairing of ever finding his way out of the confusing maze. It can make him angry, or sad, or confused - or everything.</p><p></p><p>If you can share this site with your husband, it can also help your communication and help you both work as effectively as possible as a team.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 200476, member: 1991"] Welcome. I also strongly urge you to read the book recommended, "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. If you want a quick preview, go over to Early Childhood and read up on how they suggest applying the book to younger children. While that is not going to be appropriate since your son is 14, you will still get a lot of clues on how the book works. The strategies in it are very helpful especially for a kid you've been finding a challenge (and who challenges authority) but it can also be used for PCs. We also found it to be much easier to use, certainly far easier than the constant struggle and the fighting. It is something you can do, even if diagnosis is still uncertain or varied. When we are all trying to work with our children it is a struggle. Sometimes as parents we look for the solution, we want to find someone who can help; who has the right pill or the perfect therapy. And while all help is welcome, sometimes there is no fix available; we have to use anything and everything we can. So while looking for the pill or the therapy, we can still apply our parental instincts and lateral thinking, and put in place as much as we can. We then have a better idea of what needs to be fixed still - what is left after we've done everything else (including things we simply hadn't known about before). And never forget - YOU are the parents, you have the best knowledge of all, of your son. Trust yourselves, have faith in yourselves. Also recognise that somewhere inside your son is a good kid who really wants to do well but who sometimes feels overwhelmed and despairing of ever finding his way out of the confusing maze. It can make him angry, or sad, or confused - or everything. If you can share this site with your husband, it can also help your communication and help you both work as effectively as possible as a team. Marg [/QUOTE]
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