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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 616311" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>maeh2014, While I joined this group because of my son, I have some idea of what you are going through. My son's biodad was my first husband - and an alcoholic. We were together only a short time, met and married within 6 months and broke up about a year and a half later. In fact, at that point, being tired of doing all the work, earning all the money, and him drinking up the rent, he actually left me for someone else who wouldn't gripe at him about getting a job, and he <em>still</em> wouldn't leave me alone. At one point he did show up at a church fair I was attending, then later at my house. He said he wanted me back. I said, "I will <em>never</em> take you back. If you were the last man on earth, if the world itself comes to an end, if the sun turns to ice and falls from the sky, I wil never take you back. Never. <em>Never, never, ever</em>!"</p><p> </p><p>He looked at me and said, "So you're saying I'll never get you back?"</p><p> </p><p>And he was just a drinker. I can't imagine the mind-set of someone doing heroin. I assume that he is not the father of your child? If not, and he has no rights, then you really must run, not walk, away from him. Personally, I would stay out of his legal problems, unless it is necessary to call the police to get him to leave you alone. If you are afraid he'll do something to you, get a restraining order! The police won't generally do much without one. If he shows up at the party, make sure you aren't alone with him. Hide if you can until he goes away. At least, that's what I'd do.</p><p> </p><p>If he is the father of your child, get a custody order restricting his rights. Don't wait on that. Without an order stating what parent has custody, either parent can take the child, at least in my state. Don't take his calls, don't respond to his emails with the possible exception of telling him you will no longer respond to his email. He may tell you he will kill himself. That's a manipulation to get you back. In fact, at some point, he may actually do it. But please know that <em>if</em> that happens, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You can't fix him. You can't help him. You must think of the good of your child and yourself first over someone who has made bad choices and put themselves in this position.</p><p> </p><p>I found it difficult to distance myself from my ex; I'm having a harder time with my son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 616311, member: 17309"] maeh2014, While I joined this group because of my son, I have some idea of what you are going through. My son's biodad was my first husband - and an alcoholic. We were together only a short time, met and married within 6 months and broke up about a year and a half later. In fact, at that point, being tired of doing all the work, earning all the money, and him drinking up the rent, he actually left me for someone else who wouldn't gripe at him about getting a job, and he [I]still[/I] wouldn't leave me alone. At one point he did show up at a church fair I was attending, then later at my house. He said he wanted me back. I said, "I will [I]never[/I] take you back. If you were the last man on earth, if the world itself comes to an end, if the sun turns to ice and falls from the sky, I wil never take you back. Never. [I]Never, never, ever[/I]!" He looked at me and said, "So you're saying I'll never get you back?" And he was just a drinker. I can't imagine the mind-set of someone doing heroin. I assume that he is not the father of your child? If not, and he has no rights, then you really must run, not walk, away from him. Personally, I would stay out of his legal problems, unless it is necessary to call the police to get him to leave you alone. If you are afraid he'll do something to you, get a restraining order! The police won't generally do much without one. If he shows up at the party, make sure you aren't alone with him. Hide if you can until he goes away. At least, that's what I'd do. If he is the father of your child, get a custody order restricting his rights. Don't wait on that. Without an order stating what parent has custody, either parent can take the child, at least in my state. Don't take his calls, don't respond to his emails with the possible exception of telling him you will no longer respond to his email. He may tell you he will kill himself. That's a manipulation to get you back. In fact, at some point, he may actually do it. But please know that [I]if[/I] that happens, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You can't fix him. You can't help him. You must think of the good of your child and yourself first over someone who has made bad choices and put themselves in this position. I found it difficult to distance myself from my ex; I'm having a harder time with my son. [/QUOTE]
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