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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 429569" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>First paragraph will be a short vent: You married her and knew about the son. You should NOT spank him. You are NOT his parent. That method of discipline does not work for these kids and can get you into trouble. Now enough of that. </p><p></p><p>Did he live with you from the beginning? Did you call the police when his father sent people after you? Can he live with anyone else, another relative? It sounds like he has had a very rough life and, although I do think he can change, I do not know if he will (nor do you). Sounds like there are some big time psychiatric disorders on his genetic family tree. </p><p></p><p>If you feel your daughter is unsafe, by all means take her somewhere else (I'm serious about this), but since she is also your wife's child, she will still see stepson when she visits mother. in my opinion the best solution is family counseling or marital counseling so that you and your wife can make reasonable plans for your own futures and that of stepson and his contact with your daughter. I really don't think the two of you can work it out on your own...you are too emotional in this. Even if you and wife do not stay together, you still need a plan for keeping daughter safe from step son. Has he ever hurt her? I am not trying to scare you, but we had a very disturbed child that we adopted sexually abuse our two younger children. I'm not saying that this stepson would do that, but I'd keep a really close eye on him if he is violent...his life has not been normal and who knows if he was abused himself along the way...I am always very protective of younger kids around older violent kids who acted out, especially if they had seedy backgrounds. They do what is familiar to them, even if they know it's wrong...</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 429569, member: 1550"] First paragraph will be a short vent: You married her and knew about the son. You should NOT spank him. You are NOT his parent. That method of discipline does not work for these kids and can get you into trouble. Now enough of that. Did he live with you from the beginning? Did you call the police when his father sent people after you? Can he live with anyone else, another relative? It sounds like he has had a very rough life and, although I do think he can change, I do not know if he will (nor do you). Sounds like there are some big time psychiatric disorders on his genetic family tree. If you feel your daughter is unsafe, by all means take her somewhere else (I'm serious about this), but since she is also your wife's child, she will still see stepson when she visits mother. in my opinion the best solution is family counseling or marital counseling so that you and your wife can make reasonable plans for your own futures and that of stepson and his contact with your daughter. I really don't think the two of you can work it out on your own...you are too emotional in this. Even if you and wife do not stay together, you still need a plan for keeping daughter safe from step son. Has he ever hurt her? I am not trying to scare you, but we had a very disturbed child that we adopted sexually abuse our two younger children. I'm not saying that this stepson would do that, but I'd keep a really close eye on him if he is violent...his life has not been normal and who knows if he was abused himself along the way...I am always very protective of younger kids around older violent kids who acted out, especially if they had seedy backgrounds. They do what is familiar to them, even if they know it's wrong... Keep us posted! [/QUOTE]
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