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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 429590" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>You mentioned your stepson goes to therapy. Does he have a diagnosis? </p><p></p><p>I'm going to venture to say that at this stage of the game, spanking isn't going to get you very far. However, having consistent consequences to rule breaking with both parents on the same page, and using some creativity over time may work to rein him in a bit. Biodad is not going to make it easy, obviously.</p><p></p><p>Which is my next question. Who gave biodad all the power? Do you and your wife have custody or is it a half/half shared custody arrangement? If your wife has custody, biodad has no say so in step son's treatment program. She is the custodial parent. He can have input, but decisions are up to her, unless they've drastically changed the laws when I wasn't looking.</p><p></p><p>What I see, based on what you've posted is that somehow biodad has been handed all the power concerning stepson......and has basically told stepson to do as he pleases to make your lives miserable. Speaking as a fellow step parent, I think that power play situation is going to have to be handled as well as seeking proper help for the child, even if it means going to court to have visitations supervised or restricted or even evoked. </p><p></p><p>The book The Defiant Child by Ross Greene many parents here have found very helpful.......I believe he has other books as well. He offers some sound advice for coping skills ect.</p><p></p><p>It good that wife is starting to see there is a problem. Because it's hard enough raising a difficult child to adulthood with both parents (step or bio) on the same page........when they aren't it can be a nightmare.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 429590, member: 84"] Welcome to the board :happy: You mentioned your stepson goes to therapy. Does he have a diagnosis? I'm going to venture to say that at this stage of the game, spanking isn't going to get you very far. However, having consistent consequences to rule breaking with both parents on the same page, and using some creativity over time may work to rein him in a bit. Biodad is not going to make it easy, obviously. Which is my next question. Who gave biodad all the power? Do you and your wife have custody or is it a half/half shared custody arrangement? If your wife has custody, biodad has no say so in step son's treatment program. She is the custodial parent. He can have input, but decisions are up to her, unless they've drastically changed the laws when I wasn't looking. What I see, based on what you've posted is that somehow biodad has been handed all the power concerning stepson......and has basically told stepson to do as he pleases to make your lives miserable. Speaking as a fellow step parent, I think that power play situation is going to have to be handled as well as seeking proper help for the child, even if it means going to court to have visitations supervised or restricted or even evoked. The book The Defiant Child by Ross Greene many parents here have found very helpful.......I believe he has other books as well. He offers some sound advice for coping skills ect. It good that wife is starting to see there is a problem. Because it's hard enough raising a difficult child to adulthood with both parents (step or bio) on the same page........when they aren't it can be a nightmare. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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