Never thought I would be posting on such a site.....My husband and I are both professionals and VERY respected in our community......How did this happen...... I became a step mom to two kids last year. Been in their lives for 6-7 years. Very good (nonparent) relationship with both. Both were adopted, mental illness in both families of origin. Adoptive parents (my husband and his ex) were guilty of giving them EVERYTHING. But did provide a solid base, although too lenient in my opinion. When step daughter was 17, she shoplifted for first time (well, first time caught is probably more like it). Things have been escalating including DUI's, driving with-o license after revocation. Adoptive mom and dad bailed her out continuously. She then stole from mom, and still not 100% held accountable. Lots of minor stuff to date which has her on probation. Living in squalor with a lady with 4 children (lady is 24). Fortunately, my stepdtr has no kids (YET). She has babysat for other friends of ours for 5 years for their two children (ages 5 and 4). Friends are very wealthy and have been very good to our dtr on a variety of levels (financially, including her on family outings, being good sound boards when she needs to talk, never giving up on her, etc.). Found out last night that she has been STEALING FROM THEM and from their CHILDREN (piggy banks). Long story, but caught red handed. What do we do??? She is almost 21, lives on her own, is not speaking to us about this, we are MORTIFIED. Advise on handling an out of control (almost) 21 year old??? She dropped out of college (that we were funding), sold her car (that we purchased for her) and is now working part time at McDonalds. Seriously......Any advice??? I am heartsick.