Hello All! I am new to the board so please be patient. A little background: married to Joey for 15 years. Moved to NC about 1 1/2 years ago for better jobs, etc. both grew up in small towns now living in suburbs of big city really love where we moved to oldest son has 140+ iq. Very bored in school before we moved. Went to a gifted school for 6 mos. and did okay but the lack of structure killed him. Now in regular classroom for 2nd year. Always meet teacher beforehand and give them the run down. "Jake is very smart, immature, perfectionist that doesn't handle change well." Jake was officially diagnosed with ADD about a year ago. In the past 6 months his behavior has headed into the ODD stream. My issue is that I stayed home with Jake for the first 6 years of his life. When we moved to NC, my husband is staying home with him. Those two heads like you wouldn't believe. Didn't realize it until after I committed to working full time plus. I work for the local government and teach college classes on the side to keep up with the bills. Spouse is probably borderline depressed but won't admit to anything. Joey has a seizure disorder that is mostly under control with medications. I have been trying to get him to take a part time job in the evenings just to get him out of the house and to make some money. No go so far. Spouse and older son are doing therpy together but I can't see how it's making a difference since neither one of them seems to see the problem. I walk into the house at night and it's a war zone. Joey is tired of trying to get Jake to do his homework so they just stop arguing about it. Nothing gets done and so I walk into massive amount of stress. Spouse says that he dreads when Jake gets off the bus and his day just stops right then and there. I have done a lot of research on ADD, ODD, Bi-Polar, etc. but I can't seem to get my spouse to do the work to figure this out also. I get really frustrated not only with the general situation but by what I seem to walk into every night. I am afraid I'm just going to lose it some night and walk away and never come home again. Plus - I'm totally missing out on my second child's life becuase of the battles between my husband and older son. Suggestions? I know you have lots but at least let me know somebody else has similar problems. Thank you!