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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 429641" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Bienvenue.</p><p>You raise a lot of interesting issues. I don't feel that ODD by itself is a useful diagnosis, as everyone says - it just means "your child is difficult". But you knew that already... Until a few months ago, I was thinking of my son as ODD (having recently discovered the term and read about it) because our communication was systematically conflicted, heated, unpleasant, with frequent tantrums on his part and sometimes rages in which he would kick things, slap me on the arm, etc. He would frequently point blank refuse to do things I asked him to. I sometimes felt like I detested him, even fantasised about asking my ex-husband and his family to take him... Then I started reading, researching. I changed my parenting style with him. Began giving him lots of encouragement, praise and affection. Stopped hooking into arguments with him or issuing commands. Our relationship has improved greatly, as has his behaviour, and although we certainly still have incidents and problems, on the whole things between us are much more "normal". I no longer think of him as having ODD. And so, I do not believe that this is some kind of "set in stone" condition... Am also rather surprised that this psychiatrist is offering it as the sole diagnosis... </p><p>On the other hand, my son has ADHD. There seems to be a phenomenon on the forum where one "sees" in other children what one's own children have - and so, of course, I wonder whether your child does not have ADHD! Are you going to continue seeing the pyschiatrist for him to give a diagnosis/make evaluations? ADHD children are on the whole very emotional, affectionate and loving - I have found this the best way to modify my son's behaviour. It sounds as if, from what you say, your son also has this very loving side and I think you have to find ways to maximise and exploit that to everyone's advantage and for the sake of peace.</p><p>It is interesting that your son feels there is something wrong with him and wants the doctor to help him... My son has never said anything like that - yet self-esteem and anxiety are almost always issues for these children, I think. And four is VERY young to be talking about medicating! I do wonder whether we aren't playing with fire with all these medications so freely given to developing brains (which is NOT to say they do not have their place). I think you are wise to hold off for the moment.</p><p>What is your next step?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 429641, member: 11227"] Bienvenue. You raise a lot of interesting issues. I don't feel that ODD by itself is a useful diagnosis, as everyone says - it just means "your child is difficult". But you knew that already... Until a few months ago, I was thinking of my son as ODD (having recently discovered the term and read about it) because our communication was systematically conflicted, heated, unpleasant, with frequent tantrums on his part and sometimes rages in which he would kick things, slap me on the arm, etc. He would frequently point blank refuse to do things I asked him to. I sometimes felt like I detested him, even fantasised about asking my ex-husband and his family to take him... Then I started reading, researching. I changed my parenting style with him. Began giving him lots of encouragement, praise and affection. Stopped hooking into arguments with him or issuing commands. Our relationship has improved greatly, as has his behaviour, and although we certainly still have incidents and problems, on the whole things between us are much more "normal". I no longer think of him as having ODD. And so, I do not believe that this is some kind of "set in stone" condition... Am also rather surprised that this psychiatrist is offering it as the sole diagnosis... On the other hand, my son has ADHD. There seems to be a phenomenon on the forum where one "sees" in other children what one's own children have - and so, of course, I wonder whether your child does not have ADHD! Are you going to continue seeing the pyschiatrist for him to give a diagnosis/make evaluations? ADHD children are on the whole very emotional, affectionate and loving - I have found this the best way to modify my son's behaviour. It sounds as if, from what you say, your son also has this very loving side and I think you have to find ways to maximise and exploit that to everyone's advantage and for the sake of peace. It is interesting that your son feels there is something wrong with him and wants the doctor to help him... My son has never said anything like that - yet self-esteem and anxiety are almost always issues for these children, I think. And four is VERY young to be talking about medicating! I do wonder whether we aren't playing with fire with all these medications so freely given to developing brains (which is NOT to say they do not have their place). I think you are wise to hold off for the moment. What is your next step? [/QUOTE]
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