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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 430150" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>ekirsch, to the untrained and even trained eye, ppl with high functioning autism and Aspergers can and do look totally normal. Before my son was diagnosis'ed (before I even had a clue there was a problem)I had a short chat with a parent of a girl in my son's class, and she was telling me that this child was autistic. "Yeah, right, OK lady , if you say so." was pretty much my response. I "knew" what autism was and there was a boy in the class that had it, but certainly not that, bright bubbly girl I was seeing. Boy did I have it all wrong.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion From what you wrote, autism is something you should really explore. It sounds like the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)-like behavior of autism. That said, the more important fact is that you've recognized at least one of your child's triggers, and now you can work with him, and even use it to your advantage at times.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Always make sure he gets the right cup color - if it's the same color he wants all the time, then give him that color, but put out another color in plain view as a transition to the fact that other colors can be good too. Do the bed time routine in the same order ALL the time. Might be a PITA to start from scratch if you missed something, but a do over is easier than a meltdown. Let him close the door the special way - what's the big deal? The point is to accommodate, accommodate, accommodate. Get into you kid's world. You have your perspective and he has his. Once he feels "safe", meltdowns and conflicts are quickly diffused or avoided, then slowly he can start to learn that it can't ALWAYS be his way. With luck and work, he will start "choosing" his battles just like parents do. <em>"Well, mom and dad let me do this, this and that MY way all the time, what they're asking me ISN'T really important to me, I do see everyone else doing it that way, so maybe I'll do this new thing THEIR way" </em></p><p></p><p>Ex. At age 3 my son started calling a fan a wind blower. After many arguments, I stopped and wondered what the big deal was. He knew it was a fan, if someone asked him to go turn on/off the fan, he would, so really, what was the big deal? So we ALL started calling it a wind blower. Subsequently, on more important issues, he became more compliant. I often used this as a suggestions for teachers to minimize conflict with him. If they are willing to 'get into his world', see things his way, then he is more apt to check out "their world". Ultimately it comes down to the general parenting standard of "pick your battles", but if it turns out your your son is on the AS or even just Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the habit of identifying and acommodating will be in place and help everyone in the long run.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 430150, member: 11965"] ekirsch, to the untrained and even trained eye, ppl with high functioning autism and Aspergers can and do look totally normal. Before my son was diagnosis'ed (before I even had a clue there was a problem)I had a short chat with a parent of a girl in my son's class, and she was telling me that this child was autistic. "Yeah, right, OK lady , if you say so." was pretty much my response. I "knew" what autism was and there was a boy in the class that had it, but certainly not that, bright bubbly girl I was seeing. Boy did I have it all wrong. in my opinion From what you wrote, autism is something you should really explore. It sounds like the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)-like behavior of autism. That said, the more important fact is that you've recognized at least one of your child's triggers, and now you can work with him, and even use it to your advantage at times. Always make sure he gets the right cup color - if it's the same color he wants all the time, then give him that color, but put out another color in plain view as a transition to the fact that other colors can be good too. Do the bed time routine in the same order ALL the time. Might be a PITA to start from scratch if you missed something, but a do over is easier than a meltdown. Let him close the door the special way - what's the big deal? The point is to accommodate, accommodate, accommodate. Get into you kid's world. You have your perspective and he has his. Once he feels "safe", meltdowns and conflicts are quickly diffused or avoided, then slowly he can start to learn that it can't ALWAYS be his way. With luck and work, he will start "choosing" his battles just like parents do. [I]"Well, mom and dad let me do this, this and that MY way all the time, what they're asking me ISN'T really important to me, I do see everyone else doing it that way, so maybe I'll do this new thing THEIR way" [/I] Ex. At age 3 my son started calling a fan a wind blower. After many arguments, I stopped and wondered what the big deal was. He knew it was a fan, if someone asked him to go turn on/off the fan, he would, so really, what was the big deal? So we ALL started calling it a wind blower. Subsequently, on more important issues, he became more compliant. I often used this as a suggestions for teachers to minimize conflict with him. If they are willing to 'get into his world', see things his way, then he is more apt to check out "their world". Ultimately it comes down to the general parenting standard of "pick your battles", but if it turns out your your son is on the AS or even just Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the habit of identifying and acommodating will be in place and help everyone in the long run. [/QUOTE]
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