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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 29042" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>There is information on detchment, a link I think, hey that rhymes, but I'm not sure where. Someone else will lead you to it I'm sure. </p><p></p><p>You asked how you do it? With lots of difficulty and time, beleive me. I was a huge enabler who had to step back and really see the harm it was causing. I was giving my difficult child money left and right for everything he said he needed and all he was doing was buying more drugs that were going to kill him. I went to alanon every single week for almost a year and that is what gave me the strength. Even if you can't get to a meeting, somehow find the book, one day at a time in alanon. I read that every single day for a year also. Probably much longer then a year, but that book, my meetings and this site were my savior. </p><p></p><p>Learn the serenity prayer and really really think about how it pertains to your relationship with your son.</p><p></p><p>God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change</p><p>The courage to change the things I can</p><p>and the wisdom to know the difference, Amen!</p><p></p><p>I repeated that over and over in my head many a sleepless night and really thought about each word and what it meant. I learned to let go and let god take over. I am not a hugely religious person, I haven't been to church in years, but believe me, I couldn't have gotten through this last almost 2 years without putting my son in gods hands and sitting back and allowing him to take over. </p><p></p><p>I just had another prayer answered today as a matter of fact. I just got the word that the baby my son thought could be his is not, and that is a great thing. He can now continue to move forward in his life as he has been and take care of himself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 29042, member: 2442"] There is information on detchment, a link I think, hey that rhymes, but I'm not sure where. Someone else will lead you to it I'm sure. You asked how you do it? With lots of difficulty and time, beleive me. I was a huge enabler who had to step back and really see the harm it was causing. I was giving my difficult child money left and right for everything he said he needed and all he was doing was buying more drugs that were going to kill him. I went to alanon every single week for almost a year and that is what gave me the strength. Even if you can't get to a meeting, somehow find the book, one day at a time in alanon. I read that every single day for a year also. Probably much longer then a year, but that book, my meetings and this site were my savior. Learn the serenity prayer and really really think about how it pertains to your relationship with your son. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference, Amen! I repeated that over and over in my head many a sleepless night and really thought about each word and what it meant. I learned to let go and let god take over. I am not a hugely religious person, I haven't been to church in years, but believe me, I couldn't have gotten through this last almost 2 years without putting my son in gods hands and sitting back and allowing him to take over. I just had another prayer answered today as a matter of fact. I just got the word that the baby my son thought could be his is not, and that is a great thing. He can now continue to move forward in his life as he has been and take care of himself. [/QUOTE]
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