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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 29175" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>Hey there, welcome from a fellow relatively newcomer, also male, also a techie, also moved around job-chasing. For four critical years I did consulting gigs that had me away from home two-three weeks at a time with 4 to 5 days at home in between, so the biggest part of parenting fell on my incredible wife's shoulders alone. I've often wondered how much that contributed to our difficult child's story. She was abandoned by bio dad, who she was very attached to, he just up and disappeared without a word when she was 8. Then I came along and stole away some of mom's attention, then uprooted the whole clan and dragged them off to a well-to-do bedroom community of a huge impersonal city, much like what you have described. The kids went from a school system with three to four hundred in K through 12 to one with a dozen 6-A high schools. difficult child started doing a lot of things we didn't find out about 'til later; maybe I didn't want to know, either. </p><p></p><p>Though I don't blame myself for what happened, now that wife and I are raising her daughter as our own* I'm determined that I will be home every night and really engaged in her life.</p><p></p><p>* Funny story about that: at church one night my granddaughter pointed me out to one of the other men, "That's my dad, his name's Papa." The man, a fellow expatriate Okie, had already met me and knew what our relationship was, so he gave me a wink and said, "Now I <em>know</em> you're from Oklahoma."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 29175, member: 3485"] Hey there, welcome from a fellow relatively newcomer, also male, also a techie, also moved around job-chasing. For four critical years I did consulting gigs that had me away from home two-three weeks at a time with 4 to 5 days at home in between, so the biggest part of parenting fell on my incredible wife's shoulders alone. I've often wondered how much that contributed to our difficult child's story. She was abandoned by bio dad, who she was very attached to, he just up and disappeared without a word when she was 8. Then I came along and stole away some of mom's attention, then uprooted the whole clan and dragged them off to a well-to-do bedroom community of a huge impersonal city, much like what you have described. The kids went from a school system with three to four hundred in K through 12 to one with a dozen 6-A high schools. difficult child started doing a lot of things we didn't find out about 'til later; maybe I didn't want to know, either. Though I don't blame myself for what happened, now that wife and I are raising her daughter as our own* I'm determined that I will be home every night and really engaged in her life. * Funny story about that: at church one night my granddaughter pointed me out to one of the other men, "That's my dad, his name's Papa." The man, a fellow expatriate Okie, had already met me and knew what our relationship was, so he gave me a wink and said, "Now I [I]know[/I] you're from Oklahoma." [/QUOTE]
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