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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 497276" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok...this whole incident is not good in my opinion. It is never a great idea to tell a child you don't want her to live at home, although I'm sure many of us have lost it and said that. Maybe it could have been modified, "When you act this way, sometimes I feel that way too, but you are here and we need to work it out."</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking that the entire family (not adult children unless they are still home and want to participate) could use family counseling. You have some dynamics going on that are probably not that healthy and your family can certainly learn to interact better and have more peace and feel more love. You have a husband who is not bio. dad, but whom adopted your daughter and she feels she doesn't belong. This is actually common with adopted children and she is half adopted. Also, she likes to hug and you don't...that would be in my opinion a rather big problem. She needs that touch and you can learn to like it too...you both can work on that. You'll probably like her more and feel more connected to her if you hug her. You have husband who favors certain kids and all of the k ids know it and I'm assuming that this child is NOT one of the favorites. That is hurtful. Hub needs (in my opinion) to learn to either enjoy her better qualities or at least hide his favoritism. The younger boy is not very old. He is probably distressed by the fighting. If you can get good family therapy, I think it would help a lot. Just sounds like there isn't a lot of warmth and understanding going around right n ow, and that is something that can be fixed with a little work from all of you. Whether or not, Daughter has an real issues, like ADHD, hard to say unless she is thoroughly evaluated. But I think the family dynamics need to be worked on right away, while you maybe call a neuropsychologist to test her. Are you sure drug or alcohol use is not an issue with her? Do you like her friends? What is her biggest problem? Is it just talking back (this is typical teen). Now if she's stealing, lying, running away, smoking dope, drinking, sneaking out of the house...this is NOT typical teen.</p><p></p><p>Glad you found our board, but so sorry you had to come here. Here's hoping you can find ways and ideas to change the current situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 497276, member: 1550"] Ok...this whole incident is not good in my opinion. It is never a great idea to tell a child you don't want her to live at home, although I'm sure many of us have lost it and said that. Maybe it could have been modified, "When you act this way, sometimes I feel that way too, but you are here and we need to work it out." I'm thinking that the entire family (not adult children unless they are still home and want to participate) could use family counseling. You have some dynamics going on that are probably not that healthy and your family can certainly learn to interact better and have more peace and feel more love. You have a husband who is not bio. dad, but whom adopted your daughter and she feels she doesn't belong. This is actually common with adopted children and she is half adopted. Also, she likes to hug and you don't...that would be in my opinion a rather big problem. She needs that touch and you can learn to like it too...you both can work on that. You'll probably like her more and feel more connected to her if you hug her. You have husband who favors certain kids and all of the k ids know it and I'm assuming that this child is NOT one of the favorites. That is hurtful. Hub needs (in my opinion) to learn to either enjoy her better qualities or at least hide his favoritism. The younger boy is not very old. He is probably distressed by the fighting. If you can get good family therapy, I think it would help a lot. Just sounds like there isn't a lot of warmth and understanding going around right n ow, and that is something that can be fixed with a little work from all of you. Whether or not, Daughter has an real issues, like ADHD, hard to say unless she is thoroughly evaluated. But I think the family dynamics need to be worked on right away, while you maybe call a neuropsychologist to test her. Are you sure drug or alcohol use is not an issue with her? Do you like her friends? What is her biggest problem? Is it just talking back (this is typical teen). Now if she's stealing, lying, running away, smoking dope, drinking, sneaking out of the house...this is NOT typical teen. Glad you found our board, but so sorry you had to come here. Here's hoping you can find ways and ideas to change the current situation. [/QUOTE]
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