new to this and very frustrated

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by para-noir, Feb 25, 2009.

  1. para-noir

    para-noir New Member

    I'm a 23-yr-old mom with 2 kids, one five and one who is a year. My five year old has progressively grown worse each year and no one can find anything wrong with her, I keep hearing it's just a phase and that's how kids are. But she keeps acting out and she does not listen or show respect to anyone or anything, she has a lot of behavioral issues and shows no regard for rules. I hear the phrase she just doesn't give a you know and I just don't know what else to do.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Has she ever been evaluated? What types of behaviors worry you? How was her early development? It's hard to give you an answer without more information.
    Welcome to the board!
     
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome to the board.

    I hate the "it's a stage" stuff. Sorry, but not with all kids is it a stage. Has she started school yet? If so, how does she do around other children or in the classroom setting?

    A bit more background helps us offer better advise. Glad you found us.

    Hugs
     
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hello and welcome! Could you give us a little background so we can hopefully point you in the right direction? Is there a history of mental health issues or neurological disorders in the family tree? Can you describe how she acts out?
     
  5. Anaheimfan

    Anaheimfan Blue Collar Boy

    Welcome to the Board, you will find many helpful people here.
     
  6. 2ofakind

    2ofakind Warrior in Training

    Hi-
    I too am new to this and frustrated as well. I've spent this morning just reading post after post on this site (which I found by acciden, but glad I did)
    and thought-Wow, I am not alone!!
    I have a 5 yr son old diagnosis with-speech delays and a 4 yr old son diagnosis with-PDDNOS. Both were diagnosed around the same time (2 1/2 yrs ago).
    Right now, the 5 yr old is starting some new, but totally undesirable behavior-swearing. Even told teacher that he wanted to :censored2:ing kill her!! We have tried the active ignoring, taking away tv and v-smile time, time outs-nothing seems to work. He says he'll be good and it lasts about a day. He seems to thrive on the attention the swearing gets him, but even if we don't acknowledge this, he just acts out in different ways. I'm afraid he will be kicked out of the school and will be labeled even more than he already is. Any one out there have any ideas? Even worse-4 yr is parroting the older bro!! Help!!! At wits end.........
     
  7. Matty's Mummy

    Matty's Mummy Member

    He seems to thrive on the attention the swearing gets him, but even if we don't acknowledge this, he just acts out in different ways.
    Hi welcome, in these situations, I have never found, ignoring them to work, time outs, or even when desperate me yelling and screaming doesn’t work either> ugh,. It’s so hard.
    One big thing we have noticed is foods, for my son the removal of Fruits has made a huge difference.
    This might not be the same for you, but I think it’s worth a try, even just cutting out the main fruits that have Salicylates in them.

    Salicylates​


    Are in some veg and there are fruits without them.​
    I have found that when he has grapes and sultanas, it only takes 5 mins before we see the abusive behaviour start.
    I haven’t done the full elimination (I know I should because of the results we see now) it’s just too much effort for me.
     
  8. para-noir

    para-noir New Member

    She seemed to do okay when we lived with my father and sister. I moved into a new home with 3 other roommates and then quickly moved out into another home and then we moved out of that home into another home, and then finally into our own place. Throughout this time my mother watched her while I worked, and my mother is very self-absorbed and believes in giving my daughter anything she wants and refused to discipline her in any way no matter what it was. She would laugh if my daughter swore at me or hit me. When she was two and a half I met someone who would become the father of my next child, and while the relationship was great and he took to my daughter immediately, the relationship quickly became unhealthy and physically emotionally and mentally abusive. My ex had extreme mood swings and she was around when he would beat me or do whatever it was he felt, and while I always tried to get her away from the situation and shield her inevitably she would try to come to my rescue. On one occasion she saw him nearly choke me to death. We are no longer together and have not been for some time and I am now in a healthy relationship, so I am wondering if that might have something to do with her behavior. She is not in school yet but she is okay around kids for the most part, she seems to be pretty typical. It's with adults she has the difficult relationship, although sometimes she has said things to the kids that she wanted them to die and never wanted to see them again or that she hated them.
     
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