New to this forum and exhausted.....

[BrettsMomgonenuts]

Hi im Chandra and im actually feeling relieved finding this site. My difficult child is 8 and bless him, he is driving me insane. The reason i did a search for a forum was i just got through cleaning up some spray paint he decided to plaster all over his sisters room. And at last count i have said the words "clean your room now" about 134 times today. :hammer: My son, my darling son... I love him I do, I love him with every inch of my soul, but right now I am at my wits end. (135 times now) When he was in Pre-school they would beg me to have him tested for ADHD and at the time i refused, i felt that 3 was too young. But once in Kindergarten, i knew it was time. He has had a multitude of tests done and I am satisfied with the ADHD diagnosis. (I mean they didnt just label him, they actually tested him and talked with him and talked with his teacher etc.) His psychologist said that at 5 he was an odd case. He was unbelievably smart, reading at a 4th grade level, his math was at a 3rd grade level and his IQ is extremely high for his age. He makes straight A's too. His teachers think that he is bored and have put him in higher level classes to try and challenge him more, but he cant sit still long enough for anything. Forgive me if i ramble, but its really helping typing all of this out.

We went through so many different medications in the beginning... oo so many, and some were awful. Ritalin(sp?) made him super depressed, and he is a skinny guy anyway, and he wouldnt eat and got so thin. The stratera works better than anything. its a non stimulant based medication that seems to be helping a lot. Everyone from his teachers to his dad says he is doing lots better.

Its just that he is so sneaky and clever. He found a loop hole in the homework system at school and ended up not doing homework for over a month before i caught on. (in a way i was impressed he figured it out, lol). I have to always be on my A game or he gets things past me, i honestly think the little guy is smarter than me sometimes. He still gets into things like a 2 year old. Worse than the 2 year old i have, just this morning he emptied and entire bottle of chocolate syrup into the floor, when asked why he did it, he just says "I dont know".

Anyway, we are in a transitional period, his usual psychologist moved, so i have to get another and go through brett getting used to them and feeling comfortable talking to them all over again.

Oooo and i am soo sick of my parents and inlaws saying "He is just doing it for attention, he is a boy, thats the way BOYS are" its not NORMAL for an 8 year old to get up at 3 am, get a can of green beans from the cabinet and open it with a hammer and a nail. thats not normal.

im finished rambling now, thanks for reading! i dont feel like throwing myself out in front of a truck now! lol

chandra

 

[DammitJanet]

Welcome to the board.

I can really relate to having to always be on the top of your game to keep up with them. They seem to find every loophole! If they only used their skills for good instead of evil...lol.

 

[BrettsMomgonenuts]

my husband said the exact same thing janet!! that is so funny. if only brett could put that energy into something productive..... ooo well... lol

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Hi and welcome to the board!

The weekends can be a little slow. We'll be back in full swing on Monday.

Have you read the Explosive Child? Great read. Has some fantastic theories on dealing with difficult children. Highly recommended.

Is it possible your son may have been misdiagnosed? If that is the case, then any stims given to him for ADHD would cause more problems than they would help. I'm no doctor, but to me it sounds like he may have something other than or in addition to ADHD. Very common to have more than one issue, and even more common to be misdiagnosed.

You found a soft place to land. Again, welcome.

 

[nvts]

Has he seen a neurologist? The reason I ask is that my oldest was diagnosis'd as ADHD and ODD by a psychologist, but then I took him to a neuro and he has Aspergers Syndrome which presented with ADHD and ODD. Go figure!

Does he:

Hate itchy tags?
Get fixated or obsessed with anything (ours was YuGiOh cards and trains)?
Seem to have sensory issues (loud noises, certain tones, tastes or smells set him off)?
Have difficulty maintaining eye contact?
Bad handwriting?

There are a bunch more questions, but these are the ones that come to mind.

Welcome to the group, we all try to help out when we can!

Beth

 

[BrettsMomgonenuts]

When his psychologist moved on we were in the process of trying to find out if it was something in addition to the adhd. There was a lot of testing he wanted to do and brett had begun talk therapy, which was really doing some good. His doctor suspected there was other things going on. He just didnt want to jump to any conclusions until he had tested brett more. But now he is gone and we get to start over. The principal recommended a doctor and i have looked into him. He is highly recommended, and he uses past tests and drug trials. So then i wouldnt have to start completely over. (lots of doctors i talked to wanted to change his medications etc.)


He has a thing about socks and underwear, you saying that about the tags brought that to mind. He will even throw them away so he dont have to wear them. He says that underwear and socks are uncomfortable.

He is completely obsessed with sports. He dont play them, he isnt the "joiner" type, im sure you all know what i mean. he is a loner, and dont have very good social skills. but he loves to watch sports, almost obsessively so.

never noticed any sensory problems. although he is a rediculously picky eater. one day he likes something the next he dont. so i never know what to expect.

he maintains good eye contact, especially when he is lying.

and his handwriting is horrid. thats been an issue since kindergarten.

 

[Hound dog]

Welcome to the board.

With your sons other issues, I'd recommend having him tested for autistic spectrum disorder. Actually I was thinking that before I saw your response to Beth. lol As some of what you were discribing reminded me of my son when he was little.

(((hugs))))

 

[BrettsMomgonenuts]

I was looking at different websites concerning the different types of autism and have come to the conclusion that with all of his symptoms he has some type of autism. He fit Aspergers Syndrome to the T. I was almost relieved reading actually. I called my husband and just read him the symptoms and he was like... thats him completely. Im making the appointment with his medical doctor on monday to get a referral to a neurologist. I thank you so much for the info though, i would have never ever thought of this. And so many doctors are so quick to say "oh its adhd" and stick them on some medications. I now have a reference point to bring up with my doctor and hopefully it will do some good. our medication doctor is a family friend and is very caring and listens, so he will find a good neuro doctor for my son. thank you thank you thank you!! :gingerbread:

 

[smallworld]

Instead of a neurologist, you may want to ask your pediatrician for a referral to a neuropsychologist, a developmental pediatrician, an autism clinic or a multidisciplinary team at a university teaching or children's hospital. You will get a more thorough evaluation that way, in my humble opinion.

 

[BusynMember]

A neuropsychologist is MUCH BETTER than a regular Neurologist to test for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/Aspergers. Trust me on that as one who has gone through the mill with an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) child. Do the neuropsychologist exam and don't let the Pediatrician say "No."

 

[Wiped Out]

Popping in to add a hello and welcome! Glad you found us! When I read the title of your post it made me remember how I felt the night I found this site!

Be sure you are taking care of you and getting some "me" time-it's very important especially when for parents of difficult children!

 

[BrettsMomgonenuts]

thanks yall, def will do! talked to the hubby last night and bretts real dad and its all a go. everyone is agreed. so wish me luck. im a tough cookie when i comes to my kids, so i dare the doctor to say no!! lol

 

[Sheila]

Good for you!

About "go clean your room." That's a pretty overwhelming command to many of our kids. Have you tried breaking tasks down?

Example:
go put books in the bookcase
now, go put toys in toy box
now, go put dirty clothes in the hamper
etc.

Welcome aboard! :smile:

 

[Marguerite]

On the "go clean your room" breakdown, we used to say, "Put away ten things. Then stop, see how much better the room looks already."
Later we say again, "Put away ten things."
In bits and pieces, it can get done. The problems arise when they simply put things 'away' by moving them from one place to another.

Marg