Something which deeply concerns me, is the medical response which tried to medicate away behaviours which can often be minimised in environmental ways.
Example (hypothetical) - let's say I have moments when I feel deeply depressed. Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling bright, then I remember that my parents have died, the bank has foreclosed and my friends all beleive I'm a nasty person. I suddenly feel very, very depressed.
I COULD go to the doctor and ask for medication. All that will do is (partly) numb the meotional pain. WHile it is doingthis, maybe it will make it a little easier to deal with the underlying problems, should I choose to do this. But with the pain numbed, it makes it easier for me to simply while away each day, lurching from crisis to crisis.
OR - I could use the pain I feel and try to lessen it in more effective ways. Grief over parents deaths - find grief counselling, sometimes it's too much to handle on your own. Bank foreclosing - get some financial advice, fast. Often talking to the bank can ease a financial burden. At the very least you will KNOW more about what to expect and not have your imagination making it seem even worse. Reality is almost always easier to cope with. And everybody beleiving I'm a nasty person - why has this happened? Time to find out and (if possible) dispel the nasty stories. If, after explaining myself, I still have people who hate me - then let them. Their approval may have been important to me in the past but if they will so readily beleive lies and not allow me to make amends for any wrongs, then I don't need friendship from people like that.
So wwe have two possible outcomes -
1) medicated assistance with maybe some improvement, if we use the easing of severe symptoms to work on the problems; or
2) easing of symptoms because we worked on the problems.
Either way - you need to work on the underlying problems. medications are a tool, not a cure. All medications will do is mask the problems to a varying extent. And this is not always successful, even in part.
We use what we can. But we live in a medicalised society, we expect doctors to have amagic bullet for everything. And it's just not so.
We do use medications in our household. But not as a cure, but more to manage what can be managed. The rest, we have to find behavioural ways to manage. We're not always successful. Our kids will always have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). There is no cure. But there IS living with it, learning to not only manage it but learning to find the advantages and joys behind it.
I understand you feeling horrified by the increasingly stronger medications. Your parental instinct is kicking in. The doctor, on the other hand, is thinking in medical terms. It's what doctors do - you go to the doctor, say, "We have problem X," doctor reaches for the big book of medicaitons available for this or that, says, "We have a pill for tat now," and writes a prescription. You both separate, each feeling you have done your job.
Meanwhile there is the child - the world is a confusing, scary place because he is lacking the ability to instantly understand and absorb social learning. He is probably extremely intelligent in other ways, able to do some amazing feats of mental dexterity. But the world of human behaviour is confusing to him. There seem to be no rules to flollw, despite what people around him say. There are rules in science, rules in maths. A triangle always has three sides. Its internal angles always add up to 180 degrees. So why are people so confusing?
A kid like this will get angry and beleive people are deliberately trying to confuse him to make him angry. Anger is common and understandable. You will get rages.
A kid like this develops their own coping strategy (although changing medications can interfere with this,causes more confusion sometimes). Part of the coping strategy, often, is to use rules. To choose certain behaviours and activities that feel safe and comfortable. To have a routine tat the child can predict. "At 7 pm we have dinner. At 8 pm I watch Simpsons on TV. At 8.30 pm I go have my bath." And so on. Vary this, especially without warning, and you have rages.
Read as much as you can on this site. One of the irst things you will read, is the way we recommend "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It's a very helpful book in teaching YOU how to find a more effective, more productive and less painful way of dealing with your child.
You alreayd understand the world (better than he does) so YOU need to be his tour guide. You should not be the authority figure, he has a world full of them all giving conflicting instructions. What he needs is a facilitator. The book teaches you how, and how to do it more easily than what you're trying to do now (which feels like beating your head against a wall, it's about that productive and painful).
Read the book. Take what feels right, ignore the rest. Talk to us here. Pick brains. Many of us are on the same journey. In our family, we also have multiple Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) diagnoses. As I keep saying, autism doens't just run in our family, it gallops.
Welcome. Sorry you need us but glad we're here.
Marg
