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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 513823" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>Sadly, welcome aboard - you are not alone. I agree with everyone else. He's 21, it's time for him to see if his way works and you to take care of you. You have set the boundaries for school - Ds or lower, you're done - mean it. Set rules about drug use while living in your home - for your own peace of mind, if he cannot follow them, he is old enough to get a job and an apartment, he can see if his way works. I have found forom my own experience (in a different way because my son is younger) and from the experience of many wonderful people on this site, so long as things are easy for him, the party will continue. I don't think there is anything you can say at this point to make him stop his pot usage, he has to see for himself through some tough times why pot doesn't work. Unfortunately, there is a culture of "pot believers" amoung todays youth - they don't see anything wrong with it. Set your boundaries of what you can accept in your home, if he doesn't follow that and you are not comfortable with him in your home, it may be time to think about him getting his own place. He will soon see if he does that the partying lifestyle will not enable him to take care of himself, nor will it be easy for him to pay rent and finance his habit. There is an expression - you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you cannot cure it. It's true - so be good to yourself. Your son will hopefully find his way as he has to move on in life and take more responsiblity for himself. It's painful to have to "detach" but often the only thing that really helps. Be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 513823, member: 12490"] Sadly, welcome aboard - you are not alone. I agree with everyone else. He's 21, it's time for him to see if his way works and you to take care of you. You have set the boundaries for school - Ds or lower, you're done - mean it. Set rules about drug use while living in your home - for your own peace of mind, if he cannot follow them, he is old enough to get a job and an apartment, he can see if his way works. I have found forom my own experience (in a different way because my son is younger) and from the experience of many wonderful people on this site, so long as things are easy for him, the party will continue. I don't think there is anything you can say at this point to make him stop his pot usage, he has to see for himself through some tough times why pot doesn't work. Unfortunately, there is a culture of "pot believers" amoung todays youth - they don't see anything wrong with it. Set your boundaries of what you can accept in your home, if he doesn't follow that and you are not comfortable with him in your home, it may be time to think about him getting his own place. He will soon see if he does that the partying lifestyle will not enable him to take care of himself, nor will it be easy for him to pay rent and finance his habit. There is an expression - you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you cannot cure it. It's true - so be good to yourself. Your son will hopefully find his way as he has to move on in life and take more responsiblity for himself. It's painful to have to "detach" but often the only thing that really helps. Be well. [/QUOTE]
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