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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 513856" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>I am treading lightly here as my son is younger - but I have some suggestions based on other member's experiences and my sister's (two college age pot smokers). You cannot control his use outside of your home. The rules apply to your home and anything you pay for; ie a car. The basic rule is this - no drugs, and no paraphenalia in our home (or your car) period. If you do pay for the car and you find drugs, etc in it, the privledge of using it is gone. Finding stashes of pot in your house is a violation of the home rule. It's your choice as to how many times that is violated before you cannot have it in your home. I hear you on the mental health issue. Many of the difficult children on this site have similar issues. It's a very tight line to walk between how much slack you give him for that and enabling the use and lifestyle of irresponsiblity. Keep reading, keep posting...you will find your balance of toughness and support. It is different for everyone. The only thing I will say is by making it too easy for him to continue with the status quo, the less likely he will change anything. Some good reads: "The Unchanged Mind" and "To Change a Mind" - these two books talk in detail about struggling young people and mental health issues and how to help move them forward in life. "Changing for Good" is an excellent book that helps understand what you can do to support addicts at different stages in the process of getting through it, including the stage of denial.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 513856, member: 12490"] I am treading lightly here as my son is younger - but I have some suggestions based on other member's experiences and my sister's (two college age pot smokers). You cannot control his use outside of your home. The rules apply to your home and anything you pay for; ie a car. The basic rule is this - no drugs, and no paraphenalia in our home (or your car) period. If you do pay for the car and you find drugs, etc in it, the privledge of using it is gone. Finding stashes of pot in your house is a violation of the home rule. It's your choice as to how many times that is violated before you cannot have it in your home. I hear you on the mental health issue. Many of the difficult children on this site have similar issues. It's a very tight line to walk between how much slack you give him for that and enabling the use and lifestyle of irresponsiblity. Keep reading, keep posting...you will find your balance of toughness and support. It is different for everyone. The only thing I will say is by making it too easy for him to continue with the status quo, the less likely he will change anything. Some good reads: "The Unchanged Mind" and "To Change a Mind" - these two books talk in detail about struggling young people and mental health issues and how to help move them forward in life. "Changing for Good" is an excellent book that helps understand what you can do to support addicts at different stages in the process of getting through it, including the stage of denial. [/QUOTE]
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