New to this

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Shan, Jan 29, 2015.

  1. Shan

    Shan Member

    I'm new to this forum and I'm glad I found it. But, I have to ask and I'm laughing at myself about asking bc I probably should know.....what I'm the heck does difficult child stand for .
     
  2. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    Shan -- Hello and welcome to our not-so-little group! Sorry you may find common ground with us in your life. But know that there is comfort, support, idea-sharing, and even humor sprinkled in here liberally. :)

    difficult child = Gift From God (for our troubled kids -- young adults in this forum).
    easy child = Perfect Child (or less troubled kids....more mainstream)
    husband/wife/DP = Dear Husband/Dear Wife/Dear Partner (haven't seen DP yet, but, hey, I'm an equal opportunity abbreviator!)
     
  3. Shan

    Shan Member

     
  4. Shan

    Shan Member

    Okay thank you
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I actually think difficult child has worn itself out (the term). I prefer Difficult Child (difficult child) and Easy Child (Easy child). But I was always a bit politically correct :)
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    MWM, I once told a friend of mine about this group. She has no kids and no patience. I told her about the term, "Gift From God."
    She said, "More like Spawn of the Devil."
    lol.
     
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  7. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    LOL Terry - you folks may note, I never use difficult child. When I first found this site and they told me what difficult child met, I said, "I don't think I've done anything for God to be that angry with me!"

    I just call him "son". Of course, only having one that works. ;)
     
  8. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I would never have pegged you for a easy child Nazi. Although I do agree that difficult child seems a bit too much like a forced, almost psychotic, smile. Its about continuing to love our less than cooperative children without talking down to them.
     
  9. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    How about "Spawn of Satan"? That way we can use SoS!
     
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  10. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    There are days, or well maybe currently my oldest kid is more likely to worry me than anger me, when "Spawn of Satan" or just plain, old fashioned PITA have felt more appropriate acronym for my Insolent Whelp (which also tends to work fine) than "Gift from God" but then I remember that God's ways are not our ways, or so Bible states.

    Then again, for some reason, I would not be comfortable calling him "my difficult child." I mean, he is difficult, but using that as an acronym would seem like selling him short. He may be difficult but he is also so much more than just a difficult child. Summing him us as "difficult child" would feel just as incomplete as summing him up as "tall child", "grey-eyed child", "gifted child" or "eating lots child" (he is all that too.)
     
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    Last edited: Jan 29, 2015
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Suz, yeah, but we have to explain who the kids are...which one. I always thought Gift from God assumed you had a God in your life and not everyone on the site does. I actually call mine a higher power. I guess that's the same thing.

    In the spirit of the board, which IS about difficult kids of all ages (depending on the forum) I still vote for Difficult Child. I am not so sure about our other kids. How about Typical Child? I do type difficult child because it's easy, but I never felt God sent me this child to drive me nuts. I always felt he was this way due to DNA and was just difficult. I won't bore anyone with my beliefs, but I just like Difficult Child better. It is neutral and definitely defines the children who bring us here. In fact, that is a very mild term for some of our kids...lol. On bad day, when I type difficult child, that F takes on a nasty meaning in my mind
    I also like Challenging Child or DWC (DIfferently Wired Child).
     
  12. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Well maybe you can just think "good freaking grief".

    Shan, Now that that's totally out of the way and we've hijacked your thread...please, feel free to share! We're happy to see you...even though I'm sure you would rather be elsewhere.

    :welcomecat:
     
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    CC might work, MWM. :)

    Jabberwocky, funny! "difficult child seems a bit too much like a forced, almost psychotic, smile"
     
  14. LoveSushi

    LoveSushi Member

    I've never been able to think of my daughter as "difficult child". Hopefully someday.
     
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Well... those might be closer, but nothing so far comes anywhere close to describing any one of the difficult child people in my life... The easiest would be challenging, not sure what to call the rest of them.

    IOTD comes to mind some days... idiot of the day.
     
  16. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member


    And this is the point. Calling them difficult child's (yes, I occasionally use this term too) kind of reminds me of two moms meeting in the supermarket. One has her toddler who is sitting in the cart being relatively calm and Mom calls them "My Little Angel". Then you have the other Mom, who's child is screaming loud enough that people all over the store can hear. They are climbing all over the cart, pulling random items off the shelf if Mom forgets procedure and moves the cart from the center of the isle towards the shelves. She has a look on her face that's a combination of the expressions of a person who is waiting in their car for the cop to either arrest them or let them go because "Oh crap! Did I remember to pay all of those speeding tickets?!?!?!", of the person who finally got to go on their dream vacation to safari in Africa only to be standing on the open plains and nowhere near the dubious safety of the vehicle 20 feet away from a lion that seems to be trying to decide between apathy or "raiding the cupboard", and the person who has the maniacal grin of "Consequences be Damned!" as they march towards their bosses office in the determined gait of someone who's decided that "That Bastard wont push me around EVER again!" while feeling the reassuring weight of their pistol and extra clips in their coat pocket, and the Mom of the cart climbing future WWF ring announcer looks at her child and says "My Little Angel" while trying not to look or act too psychotic or infanticidal.

    Ok, I'm thinking I wont be using difficult child any more. I like MWM's idea of DWC for Differently Wired Child. It hints at possible problems without laying them firmly at the feet of the child while also giving some small semblance of hope because just because they are wired differently doesn't mean they wont learn how to function in society. Yeah, DWC.
     
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  17. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    :D This nicely expresses why I don't see any problem with G.F.G (I do with P.C, but I mostly translate it to Political correct child in my head ;)) I come from the culture, where children, even very young ones, are only called 'dear', 'sweetheart', 'honey' or any that type of endearing, when they have just caused an epic scene in supermarket, parent is beet red from embarrassment, would willingly give the kid away to any passing stranger without any background checks, have fume pouring from their ears, that is when that mom or dad will come up with: "Darling, would you please be dear and climb down from that lady's shopping cart, I think we have to find a staff member and tell about that stand you just pushed over." Or when they are little older: "Guess what, my little sweetheart just keeps offering us new exiting experiences. I had never been in the drunk tank before we picked him up last Sunday 1 a.m. Really interesting!"

    When we are little less upset with our offspring, or more so, happy with them, we tend to call them and refer them with words, that have '(informal, derogative)' added after them in dictionary. :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2015
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

  19. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Its a part of how I was raised that if my child had been the one climbing the cart, I would have politely but much more firmly informed them that for their own sake sitting quietly in the cart would be a good idea. My dad was big on discipline and being prior military has only helped to re-enforce this in my personality. I also now know that this approach doesn't always work. I guess difficult child, to me anyway, implies that there is something wrong with our child that we MUST be embarrassed about. I like DWC because it seems more accurate and less judgmental. It almost feels like calling them difficult child's ties together with the whole "Everyone gets a trophy so everyone feels special" mentality. I hate that.
     
  20. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Shan, welcome. I hope you will join us and share your story. This is a safe place to come and vent and get support and just feel you are not alone. It helps to write it down sometimes, a certain clarity ensues and we'll have a better way to understand and support you. I'm glad you found us and I hope you stay. Whatever is going on with your adult child, it's likely we'll be able to "get it" and offer you our own stories and some support along the way.
     
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