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New Topic - Son vs. Daughter difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 558045"><p>I cant complare son/daughter difficult children because I have a difficult child son and a easy child daughter. I will say though in general I worry about them more than my husband. He compartamentalizes in a way that I can't... so I tend to worry more and I also am the first one to make a plan or take action. He always catches up but I tend to lead the way. We were talking the other night about the stress it creates and we are lucky that we are generally on the same page. I said to him, we have always been on the same book, but not always on the same page. lol.</p><p></p><p>I will also say that I have always and probably will always worry about my son way more than I worry about my daughter. That is because he is a difficult child and he is impulsive, volatile and makes bad decisions. This was true before the drug use started and of course is even worse with the drug use. I dont worry about my daughter very much because she has really good head on her shoulders, is doing well in life and I have a lot of confidence in her. So yeah I might worry at moments about particular situations like when she learned to drive, but I do not worry about her much and neither does my husband.</p><p></p><p>My son has been in situations which have left me desperate with worry. He has been in jail and he has been homeless several times. Both of those situations are just awful as a parent. Him being homeless has been awful and has gotten easier as I have realized he has figured out how to survive on his own and on the streets. Still it is hard. I think the homeless part would be even worse for me if he was a girl. One thing I know about my son is he can and will defend himself, I doubt I would feel that with a girl.</p><p></p><p>So to me the big difference in worry is the gfgness... and there are ways I would probably worry more if difficult child was a girl, although to be honest it is hard to imagine worrying any more than I already do!!</p><p></p><p>And I also do feel letting go and lettign him be homeless was the only thing left for us to do and it has been the right thing to do as crazy as that sounds. If he was still living at home with his behavior, the rest of us would not be doing well, and I am sure my daughter would also now be not doing well and I would have to worry about her. So I do not regret the stand we have taken with him.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 558045"] I cant complare son/daughter difficult children because I have a difficult child son and a easy child daughter. I will say though in general I worry about them more than my husband. He compartamentalizes in a way that I can't... so I tend to worry more and I also am the first one to make a plan or take action. He always catches up but I tend to lead the way. We were talking the other night about the stress it creates and we are lucky that we are generally on the same page. I said to him, we have always been on the same book, but not always on the same page. lol. I will also say that I have always and probably will always worry about my son way more than I worry about my daughter. That is because he is a difficult child and he is impulsive, volatile and makes bad decisions. This was true before the drug use started and of course is even worse with the drug use. I dont worry about my daughter very much because she has really good head on her shoulders, is doing well in life and I have a lot of confidence in her. So yeah I might worry at moments about particular situations like when she learned to drive, but I do not worry about her much and neither does my husband. My son has been in situations which have left me desperate with worry. He has been in jail and he has been homeless several times. Both of those situations are just awful as a parent. Him being homeless has been awful and has gotten easier as I have realized he has figured out how to survive on his own and on the streets. Still it is hard. I think the homeless part would be even worse for me if he was a girl. One thing I know about my son is he can and will defend himself, I doubt I would feel that with a girl. So to me the big difference in worry is the gfgness... and there are ways I would probably worry more if difficult child was a girl, although to be honest it is hard to imagine worrying any more than I already do!! And I also do feel letting go and lettign him be homeless was the only thing left for us to do and it has been the right thing to do as crazy as that sounds. If he was still living at home with his behavior, the rest of us would not be doing well, and I am sure my daughter would also now be not doing well and I would have to worry about her. So I do not regret the stand we have taken with him. TL [/QUOTE]
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